Last week I took your questions for the man who sees me in sweatpants and a night guard and sleeps with me anyway. Today, he’s got answers! Some of them made me tear up, most of them made me crack up– and all of them pretty much made me fall in love with him all over again. Here’s my Bryan. –Tamára
What do you do with the kids when mom is in the writing “zone”? It depends– when she is writing in the house, there is typically a lot of yelling and screaming (plus whatever noises the kids & I are making), so I just try to keep them busy. If she gets out of the house, for whatever reason the kids don’t feel her absence as much and they are just fine.
What do you see when you look at Tamara? The 1st thing that comes to mind. The thing that makes you rest in the truth that she is yours and you are hers? I see my best friend, the woman who I have grown up with and plan to grow old with.
I see the man who loves me.
Oh, and I love that you wrote about a shirt button. My hubs made an entire documentary in film school about a little store in NYC filled with nothing but buttons. Maybe y’all should go have a beer? I’m in– just so long as this guy isn’t your husband.
Has Tamara ever written anything on her blog that you wished she hadn’t? And if you don’t mind sharing what and why you wished she’d kept that quiet, I’d love to hear. I can’t say there is anything she has shared that I wished she hadn’t. I usually read what she writes before she posts it, and she asks me what I think; if there is anything questionable, she always checks if I’m okay with her sharing.
First question: Why the hell do either of you remember how tall you were in grade school?! I have to look at my driver’s license to know how tall I am NOW. I remember getting weighed and measured in PE right before high school started and hoping that I would hit that elusive 5′ even goal. It finally happened the next summer. You don’t easily forget going from 5’ to 6’ that fast.
Second question: How does Bryan feel being the man behind a good woman? Um, that totally came out wrong. Never mind. Yeah– better leave that one– I promised myself I would keep these answers relatively clean.
Gratuitous picture of hot husband to break up lengthy question section.
Third question: Do you get as worked up as TaMAHra does when people mispronounce her name? Seriously, how many gray hairs has this caused her to sprout? Do you get similarly enraged with people spell your name with an “i”? (If I admitted on here that Tamara had any gray hairs, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be welcomed back home after work.) When I’m emailing somebody and sign my name and then they begin the reply by spelling my name with an “i” when they just flippin’ read my name, it ticks me off. I usually find myself replying back intentionally misspelling their name as badly as I can.
Fourth question: In seriousness, how do you deal with the negative attention that comes Tamara’s way because of this blog? I know that she’s gotten some. Have you had to tell someone to “step off,” “talk to the hand” or eat your shorts? (Disclaimer: I am apparently unable to make references that touch on topics that happened after 1994.) I’ve never actually had to tell the “wastoids” to “take a chill pill” or I’ll “open up a can of whoop a$$” but I have definitely wanted to. I think most of the negative attention becomes fodder for us to make fun of late at night.
Cassie Chang (@TinyandFierce__):
How has Tamara’s faith affected your own journey with faith? How did you deal with the times when you weren’t on the same spiritual level?
Becky Fletcher Holloway:
What was it like being married for so many years with different beliefs?
I know she wouldn’t agree, but from my perspective, she’s always been so strong and confident and unwavering in her faith. When we had different beliefs, it wasn’t really something I felt like I had to deal with– it was hard for her, but for me it just wasn’t a big deal.
When Tamara puts on a new roll of toilet paper, does she let the paper hang over or tuck under? Because, over is the only acceptable way to do it. Right? I honestly have no idea what way the toilet paper hangs, nor which way it’s supposed to. When I’m using it, I’m just focused on the job at hand. [Editorial note from Tamára: The correct way is to hang it under. I will change it if it's on the wrong way.]
Meet the Buttrams:
Just how BAD is Tamára’s sweet tooth? This is vital information. As I type this, I am
2/3, ¾, done with a good sized bag of Sour Patch Kids, so I might not be the best judge. Maybe it’s a communicable disease?
My personal Secret Service? HIRED.
Do you ever find yourself in protective mode where you want to go find someone that was abusive in comments with your loved one and take them out? Baseball bats, etc.? I absolutely find myself in protective mode. When she starts writing books, I’m probably going to need to recruit a posse to shadow her when she travels (any volunteers?). I keep threatening her that if she ends up doing a lot of traveling, I’ll quit my job and be her traveling security.
What little quirky things bug you about each other? Hmm – I just asked her the same question so I would be safe writing something here, but she thinks I’m so perfect she can’t think of anything. So, umm, neither can I… Just kidding. I really can’t think of anything.
(a) Tamara’s oddest food obsession is fish tacos or sweet potato fries.
(b) When Tamara was at Killer Tribes, I spent the entire day trying not to see what time it was until her speech was over.
(c) My favourite quirky thing that Tamara does is fold candy wrappers into perfect squares after she eats the candy.
(d) The best thing about Canada is Youppi.
Tell us about something you never would have done if you didn’t have Tamara in your life. This could be a long list. I never would have gone to see a musical, gone to church, witnessed the births of our five beautiful children, or attended a high school prom in a powdered blue tuxedo.
He also wouldn’t have been a Converse convert.
Then tell us about something she never would have done if you weren’t in her life. Wow the list of things I never would have done without her is way more impressive than what I can think of here. She never would have seen any of the Star Wars movies or gone to a game at Fenway Park.
I’d also love you to give us the top three things that make your wife different from (and better than) what the Tamara Out Loud image can convey given the limitations of the blogging medium.
She is a very protective mom. Cross her family and she comes out baring claws.
She gets so much joy in sharing her writing, especially when she gets a comment from someone that her writing has helped.
She doesn’t actually talk about bacon that much in real life.
What do YOU think of Tamara’s blog? Has there ever been a post that surprised you? I love her blog– I try to read every post before anyone else, but sometimes they aren’t done until ridiculously late at night. The two that surprised me most were Watering Weeds into Flowers and What’s a Girl Worth. Watering Weeds makes me smile every time I read it, plus it makes me sound all wise and stuff. What’s a Girl Worth made me hug her non-stop for probably 2 days straight.
Chad Gibbs (@Chad_Gibbs):
Who is your favorite soccer club, Bryan? I’ve always liked playing soccer, but I’ve never been a big fan of watching, with the exception of the World Cup where my favorite team is whoever is playing Brazil. They just strike me as the NY Yankees of soccer.
“I’d rather do it than just watch.” TWHS
In the movie of your life, who would play the button? (Really; Tim Burton would kill for the movie rights to this.) That would easily be the worst movie ever, like Jersey-Girl-bad. But of course Ryan Gosling would play the button, just for Tamara’s delight.
Have you ever considered asking people to pronounce your name Bry-YAHN to match your wife’s pronunciation? Ha! Now that just sounds pretentious.
And as a fellow husband: Seriously, how have you not/how tempted have you been to find and be less-than-passive towards some of the comments – both personal and critical – that have come towards Tamara? My not-so-kind words towards those comments always come out– I just don’t want them to reflect on Tamara’s space, so I just share them with her.
Do you like black licorice flavoured things? Can’t say I’m a big fan– I can’t stand the jelly beans or Jaegermeister, for instance. But I do enjoy a good piece of licorice, especially the ones shaped like pipes– do they still make those?
On a scale of 1-10, how stoked are you about Marvel’s Avengers hitting theaters this coming Friday? I have to admit, my enthusiasm is a little bit tempered because I still haven’t seen Thor or the new Hulk. I’ll give it a 6.5 now, with a good chance of 9 if I enjoy Thor (which I’ll finally see tonight). I grew up a Justice League fan– if they finally ever get a movie, that would be an instant 11 out of 10.
Lisa Colón DeLay (@LisaColonDelay):
You guilty pleasure is…..?
These: They are delicious; I could easily eat an entire bag in one sitting.
When are y’all going to visit Nashville and have fried pickles with me? Wow I got all the way through these questions without a single inappropriate joke, and then a pickle comment gets lobbed my way. How can I resist? Tamara is the only pickle fan in this family. ZING. But visiting Nashville would be really cool.
Are you going to see The Avengers? What’s your guilty pleasure? Which way are you supposed to hang toilet paper?