Tag Archives: blogging

Getting Lucky: How I Got an Agent (plus a giant giveaway!)

Posted on May 18, 2012 | 101 Comments

Two things you should know: I wasn’t going to tell this story, and if I could give you all a plate of my hot chocolate chip cookies, I really would.

A few weeks ago, I shared  my exciting news that I’d gotten a literary agent, and you were generous with your happiness for me. I wanted to thank each person who left me a congratulatory comment, but the comments section yells at me with warning messages when I try to leave a duplicate reply, and I don’t know 70-something ways to say, “Thank you so much. Your support means everything to me.”

But you know I can find a way to subvert the system.

So when several people asked me to tell the story of how it happened, I decided I ought to set aside my fears of sounding braggy and just tell it. And I figured I’d lavish you with gifts while I was at it because nothing says “thank you” like fresh chocolate chip cookies, but free books come close. (More on that below.)

This is the story:

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Posted in life, writing

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You Can’t Say That On TOL

Posted on May 11, 2012 | 54 Comments

I think because TOL is a place to say what you often can’t elsewhere, a lot of the guest post submissions I get are either very vulnerable or very boundary-pushing. Posts like these can be wonderful because vulnerability allows for community and connection, and pushing boundaries can create more space to think and grow.

You can see that I do a lot of this in my own writing, but what you may not see is that I take a lot of care to walk an often thin and tremulous line between saying everything that I think and saying everything that I think is beneficial. When people call me “unfiltered,” I sometimes think, If you only knew…

So when I get submissions that go too far, I don’t use them, but I think it might be helpful for my fellow bloggers and writers to understand how I come to decide what can and can’t be said here, not necessarily so that you might have a successful guest post for me (though that would be lovely), but so that it might help you decide how to go about determining your own boundaries in blogging and writing.

When you consider using words, images, or stories that have clear potential to shock, you have to be really honest with yourself about not only your intentions but also the ramifications for your readers. You can have the deepest, most life-changing thought, but if you present it in a way that turns people off, they will have a hard time letting your good message sink in. So when you re-read what you’ve written, you need to see if you can comfortably square it with how you want to present your thoughts and yourself to your audience.

Try running these questions by your very most honest self:

  • Do you want to shake them up so they’ll really have to consider something differently, or do you just want to shake them up so that you can grab their attention?
  • Are you making them uncomfortable only out of necessity?
  • Is there a more gracious way to approach?
  • How will the shocking elements affect the trust/rapport you’ve built with your audience?

What advice would you add for determining boundaries in writing? Do you struggle more with letting your writing be a little risky or with reining it in?

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Posted in writing

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The Simple Work of Your Hands

Posted on April 30, 2012 | 10 Comments

“You see your blog as a ministry, don’t you?” he asked, assuming. I’d been blogging for about a year, but I’d never considered it that way til that moment. “Ministry” sounded a bit too grandiose for something so mundane as a blog.

I just used an online space to tell my stories. I didn’t preach the Gospel; I didn’t heal the sick; I didn’t tend to widows and orphans. I just noticed and I thought and I felt and I wrote. And people came to that space to take in a little of life as I saw it, to laugh and wonder and cry alongside me.

(continued)

***

For the past two months, Lisa Colón DeLay has been hosting The Spiritual Guidance for Bloggers Series, and today it’s my honor to close out the event. But my post isn’t just for bloggers– it’s for everyone who’s ever wondered where they might find a place to serve God and His people.

Please join me at Lisa’s place to continue reading The Simple Work of Your Hands!

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Posted in faith, life, writing

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Ask Mr. Tamara Out Loud!

Posted on April 27, 2012 | 31 Comments

If you’ve been here a while, you know a lot about me, from my choices in footwear to my spiritual beliefs to my broad range of neuroses. And this is fine with me because this is what I do: I put a lot of myself out there because it’s the best way I know to tell stories.

But I do not impose this on anyone else. Not every story is mine to tell, and I am fiercely protective of the people I love. And, unfortunately, this means you haven’t gotten to know the man behind the woman behind the blog. And he is fairly essential.

So Bryan has agreed to do a Q&A so that, as one friend said, you can ask “how he deals with” me and get to know him more. Because you know I’m a handful– and he handles me well. Ahem.

Here are a few fun facts to start you off:

  • Bryan likes to remind me that he was a published author decades before me, thanks to a story he wrote when he was 10 about a day in the life of an anthropomorphic shirt button.
  • If we had met when I was in 7th grade and he was in 9th, I would have towered seven inches taller than him.
  • He’s fast and nimble at soccer, strong and precise at baseball. He gets sweaty when he plays. I like to watch.

Leave your questions– funny or serious– in the comments here, and Bryan will answer our favorites in a guest post next week!

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Posted in life, writing

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Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just You?

Posted on February 20, 2012 | 68 Comments

Here’s the thing about opportunities– you sometimes have to be a little forward with them. Not grab-the-cute-guy’s-butt forward, but definitely is-it-hot-in-here-or-is-it-just-you forward. So that’s what I did a few weeks ago– saw an opportunity just sitting there, went up to it, and asked for it– and Killer Tribes founder/host Bryan Allain invited me to speak at my first conference. Which is 7/8 exciting and 1/3 terrifying. (Fear not– I won’t be speaking about math.)

So, on March 31 in Nashville, I’ll be the least-famous person with the fewest credentials speaking at the inaugural Killer Tribes Conference! I’ll run a little breakout session about embracing niche writing, and it’s entirely possible that the only people who will choose to attend it are the blogging friends I have mercilessly harangued/promised to go pole dancing with/mentioned it to in passing amid subtle suggestions to bring me candy (Reese’s Cups, not Eggs).*

But I’m thrilled because just showing up to speak at this first conference means I have a start. And when you’re a little forward with your opportunities, sometimes you can get pretty far. (Ahem.)

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Posted in writing

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Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Pregnant

Posted on January 27, 2012 | 60 Comments

Every so often I share on Twitter or Facebook the ridiculous/hilarious/wildly inappropriate search terms people use that land them at TOL, and sometimes I even take a stab at answering the inquiries. But I’ve got a lot to do right now, so today I thought I’d just let the search terms talk among themselves:

what’s tamara up to? harvard porn for women sexy men folding laundry.

if i say it out loud in faith will she marry me? nerds are cool and make good husbands.

i want to start running for exercise, will that be a sin? check out tamara’s ass. (zumba littlemore tamara.)

“how to go without meat for 30 days,” “giving someone a pickle,” “ff’ing on twitter,” “frequently freshly pressed”: how to say something with a double meaning.

as a woman have you ever cried at the thought of taking an enema? constipated shitting skye. (how loud is that shit in rl?)

what words can i swap out for curse words in a book? grab tamara; teach tamara.

hot hipster, drunk without a condom– is tamara pregnant? baby shower hipster!

are you a good whore quiz: loud boobs, hot stuff sign, loud sheets, callgirl glasses.

we hate tamara. won’t somebody sexy tell on her?

***

If you have a site with search terms, what good ones have you had lately?

Also, I’m not pregnant.

Why do you hate me?

Thanks to Chad, Christian, John, Marie, Mike, and Preston for brainstorming with me!

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Posted in humor

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A Little Less Blog, A Little More Book

Posted on January 6, 2012 | 57 Comments

I hope by now you’ve heard about the book of essays I’m editing through Civitas Press, What a Woman is Worth. (If not, then I am not quite as obnoxious as I fear nor nearly as effective as I hope, and I’d love for you to get caught up here.) I had a fantastic response to my call for submissions, and now I begin the work of reading through the stories so many gracious women have entrusted to me.

It will be unlike any editing job I’ve had before. The scale will be much larger; the subject matter, much deeper; the responsibility, much heavier.

And beyond editing so many pieces and writing my own, there will be work to do that will push me out of the secure place where I-know-what-I’m-doing-and-I-know-I’m-good-at-it. There will be endorsements to seek, media kits to create, a finished product to promote, rejection to face.

My normal sense of self-deprecation says, “Be terrified!” But this is not a normal project, and I don’t have time for my own bullshit. So I’m just going to be very excited instead.

But I will also be very busy, especially for the next three months until the final draft is due. And I will need your grace.

I will need to talk about the project, and I’ll ask your grace to listen. I will need to promote the project, and I’ll ask your grace to help. And I will need to give a little less on this blog so that I can give a lot more through this book, and I’ll ask your grace to stick around.

Thanks to many of you, I have a great store of guest posts that I will begin using to supplement my own posting. My hope is to publish one guest post as well as one of my own writing each week for the next few months. Please support me, the project, and the guest posters who will help keep the blog going by reading and commenting on the guest posts with your usual enthusiasm.

Thank you so much for your continued support!

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Posted in writing

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My Interview at The Isle of Man!

Posted on December 27, 2011 | 4 Comments

Today I have the pleasure of being interviewed by Kevin Haggerty at The Isle of Man!

Kevin won the interview during my 12 Gifts of Christmas giveaway, but let’s be honest: If you call your place “The Isle of Man” and list me as the only chick in your guy-laden blogroll, I’m gonna be the first one to show up and see what you’ve got goin’ on.

Kevin’s questions were fun and thoughtful, and he got me to tell you all about my next big tattoo, my advice on growing a blog, and my most aggravating personal traits.

It’s gonna be a great time at The Isle of Man today– come check it out!

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Posted in faith, humor, life, writing

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