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Mixtape Mondays: Winter

Once upon a time I liked to share the best blogs I was reading; once upon a time I actually had time to read blogs. Nowadays I am working a lot, blogging a little, and reading blogs next to never. But I always listen to music. A lot of music. A lot of good music.

And I still like to share the best.

So I’m going to try out a weekly thing, alliteratively titled (as we do), “Mixtape Mondays” and centered on a theme according to my particular whim. It’ll be just like the kid who used to crush on you in high school did, only less hormonal pining. Maybe.

We’ve got at least a month of winter left, eh? Bundle up with good tunes.

What are your favorite winter songs?

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The Day I Destroyed My Diet Pills

“I’m Scarlett, with the chubby cheeks!”

My three-year-old daughter beamed the self-compliment she’d so often heard me bestow on her, and it caught me off guard: So far from the way I speak unkindly about my own perceived chubbiness, she believed– because I told her– that her feature most readily distinguishable from her identical twin was her chubby cheeks, and they were delightful and beautiful. And they are.

But I reeled at the thought that I was speaking this word to her, this word that would some day not come so kindly from her sweet face, and I reeled at the thought that I cannot delight in my own body the way she still can. She will learn from me. And it occurred to me that none of my daughters has a single female role model around who really loves her body and delights in its beauty. We lash ourselves with mean words and harsh diets. And they will hear and see.

And so I decided to stop. Or at least to mightily try.

I kept in my medicine cabinet a bottle of diet pills that my doctor gave me when I went to see him about fixing the mess twin babies had made of my middle. I had wanted to discuss the saggy skin and blown-out muscles, but he convinced me it might just do the trick to lose five to ten pounds. And I was within the normal weight range for a woman my height, but that hit to self-confidence was all it took, and I took the awful pills.

They made my heart race, and I felt like fat, ugly shit. But they were my last resort. So I stopped the pills but I kept them close, and I threatened myself I’d bring them back out if I couldn’t get it together.

But Scarlett, she has gorgeous chubby cheeks, and hell if I’ll teach her to hate them. And from my grandmother to my mother to the ones I love like sisters, we’re all messed up about our bodies, and we are handing our legacy to our girls. So we made a trade, my dear friend and me, emptied our tight fists of last resorts so that we could hold hands and walk toward health together.

And we will make a new legacy.

This is what it comes to:

We were made to be more than “skinny.”

We can find strength in humility…

and beauty from ashes.

And the empty tomb means something in real life.

***

I am thrilled to announce today’s release of my friend Emily Wierenga’s important book, Chasing Silhouettes: How to help a loved one battling an eating disorder.

Order Chasing Silhouettes here!

Guest Post: “S-E-X on the Big Blue Bus”

Today’s guest post comes from Shawn Smucker of shawnsmucker.com. Shawn and his family recently concluded an adventure of a lifetime in which they traveled the U.S. on a big blue bus, meeting people (including me, twice!), seeing our beautiful country, talking shop with fellow writers, and learning about life all along the way. It’s my honor to share this funny, sweet, personal piece of Shawn’s adventure with you here! –Tamára

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The woman who still feels like a girl sometimes tires of digging through the bottom of the bus for the kids’ shoes, or wondering if the next Laundromat will have a change machine. The man who still feels like a boy is weary of emptying the waste tank and worrying about getting the bus stuck. The third month of a four-month trip is the 21st mile of a marathon.

The woman looks for a movie for the kids while the man makes popcorn. She bends over and sweeps Legos out of the way, then opens the small drawer under the couch. The man pinches her butt. She laughs and looks over her shoulder.

“What movie are you picking, mom?” one of the four kids shouts.

They have been in very close quarters for over ninety days. Moments of intimacy for the parents are few and far between. The man gives the woman a signal.

Meet me in the back in two minutes.

They walk back the long bus hall, closing the two doors. They are giddy, like high schoolers trying to find a place to park late at night. Unfortunately the bedroom door has a gaping hole in the bottom where a large vent used to be, so the man blocks it with an oversized plastic storage container. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

She moves the dirty clothes on to the floor and he jumps into bed. More Legos greet him, like tiny sea urchins. They sigh and pull back the sheets and pick out the Legos and doll clothes and Matchbox cars.

When the bed is clear, they lay down. He smiles. She smiles. He kisses her.  Then they hear the tiniest of voices from the other side of the storage bin blocking the door. He looks over his shoulder and a small head peaks up through the narrow space.

“Guysh, what are you doing?” It is their four-year old. She has long blond hair and blue eyes and her s’s come out like sh’s (think Sid from Ice Age). She wants a drink. The man shakes his head in disbelief. He looks at the woman.

Is the universe conspiring against us?

“How do you even fit through there?” he asks, walking toward the door.

“Are you guysh naked in there?” she asks them.

He tries not to laugh. She keeps asking questions.

“Did you lock the door sho that no one would shee you when you’re naked?” she asks again.

“I wish,” he says, leaning down and pushing her head gently back through the vent. “Now go ask your brother for a drink. And don’t come back in here until the door is open. Understand?”

“Of coursh.”

He goes back to the bed and lays down beside the woman. And suddenly the woman and man are boy and girl again. They look at each other – she giggles and he laughs. They hold hands and stare at the ceiling. She suddenly remembers, in the time it takes a lightning bug to flash on and off, that this is the greatest adventure of their life together. He recalls the first time they held hands in that move theatre in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania. He remembers how he hadn’t wanted to be anywhere but there.

They hear the voices of their children in the front of the bus: how’d it happen so fast? How could those two people holding hands fifteen years before be in any way connected to these very different but same people, holding hands in Yellowstone while their four children argue over popcorn rights in the front of the bus?

Outside, a few miles away, herds of bison and elk wander through Haydn Valley. A bear swims through icy Yellowstone River, her cub following desperately behind. Downstream, water crashes through the gorge, wearing away another layer of time.

But in the big blue bus, for just a moment, time has stopped.

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Shawn recently finished a four-month trip around the United States with his wife and four children (8 years of age and under) and is now back home in Paradise, Pennsylvania. His book My Amish Roots explores the roles of family, death, life, tradition, and legacy against the backdrop of his Amish ancestry. He has also recently written an E-book, Building a Life Out of Words, which tells the story of how his failed business became an opportunity for him and his family to live the life they had always wanted to live.

He blogs daily at shawnsmucker.com about writing, the strange things his children say, and postmodern Christianity. You can connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.

“Chasing Silhouettes” winner announced!

Thank you so much to everyone who shared about my friend Emily Wierenga’s upcoming book, Chasing Silhouettes: How to Help a Loved One Battling an Eating Disorder. I know it will be a tremendous blessing to so many, and I am grateful not only for Emily’s writing it but also for your support of it.

If you missed the excerpt Emily shared with us, please read it here. It is soul-bared, beautiful writing.

And now for our winner: Marissa! Emily will be getting in touch with you about getting you a free copy!

Your Turn to Get Lucky (giveaway winners announced!)

Thanks to everyone who left a comment on Friday’s getting-an-agent story and giveaway. If you missed it, just check out the authors’ websites–  some of the books are still free with a newsletter or blog subscription, and the rest are available for very reasonable prices!

Here are the winners of the limited-number giveaways. The authors will be getting in touch with you (at the email address you used to sign in to comment) to get you your gifts!

The Writer’s Manifesto by Jeff Goins

1. Renee Ronika Klug
2. Kirsten LaBlanc
3. Gabrielle
4. multiplyblessedmama
5. Julie Anne

You Are a Writer by Jeff Goins

1. Austin Gilly
2. Marilyn
3. Allen Madding
4. Amy Nabors
5. Jennifer Cook

A Path to Publishing by Ed Cyzewski

1. Leanne
2. Stephanie Spencer
3. Sonny Lemmons

Nonfiction Proposal Review from Ed Cyzewski

Alise Wright

TOL’s 12 Gifts of Christmas: Gifts 7 & 8

Thanks so much to everyone who commented on What is Peace? and entered to receive Gift 7 or Gift 8! I’m going to announce the recipient of each gift here, but remember– this is a white elephant gift exchange!

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TOL’s 12 Gifts of Christmas: Gifts 5 & 6!

Thanks so much to everyone who commented on Running and entered to receive Gift 5 or Gift 6! I’m going to announce the recipient of each gift here, but remember– this is a white elephant gift exchange!

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TOL’s 12 Gifts of Christmas: Gifts 3 & 4!

Thanks so much to everyone who commented on The Christmas Cod and entered to receive Gift 3 or Gift 4! I’m going to announce the recipient of each gift here, but remember– this is a white elephant gift exchange!

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