I’ve been feeling lately like God is asking me to “stand in the divide.” I’m not entirely sure I know what that means, and what I might guess it means is relatively terrifying. So I’ve done like I do and given it 90% procrastination and 10% lip service.
But today in church my minister said that each of us has a calling, and it’s right here and right now. And then I heard God ask me again to stand in the divide.
So I joined in communion, and a kind man prayed for me with a full-on dimpled smile and the words “my sister,” and when I got back to what I naively assumed was the safety of my seat, I finally told God I’d follow wherever S/he might lead, and I mentioned that some directions would be really freaking nice if S/he wouldn’t terribly mind. And then I remembered the whole thing I’d literally just said in the first half of my thought about God leading, which fairly obviates directions.
And then the pianist began a bit of “It is Well with My Soul,” and I sang along because my heart and voice both love it, and that was that.
So all this to say, when I finally start really writing publicly again, it will likely be from within the divide– wherever and whatever that is– and I will be scared but I will be following Jesus because his sheep hear his voice, and once in a dang while we actually move our asses when he calls.