Last week I took your questions for the man who sees me in sweatpants and a night guard and sleeps with me anyway. Today, he’s got answers! Some of them made me tear up, most of them made me crack up– and all of them pretty much made me fall in love with him all over again. Here’s my Bryan. –Tamára
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bethsciallo:
What do you do with the kids when mom is in the writing “zone”? It depends– when she is writing in the house, there is typically a lot of yelling and screaming (plus whatever noises the kids & I are making), so I just try to keep them busy. If she gets out of the house, for whatever reason the kids don’t feel her absence as much and they are just fine.
What do you see when you look at Tamara? The 1st thing that comes to mind. The thing that makes you rest in the truth that she is yours and you are hers? I see my best friend, the woman who I have grown up with and plan to grow old with.
I see the man who loves me.
Oh, and I love that you wrote about a shirt button. My hubs made an entire documentary in film school about a little store in NYC filled with nothing but buttons. Maybe y’all should go have a beer? I’m in– just so long as this guy isn’t your husband.
andilit:
Has Tamara ever written anything on her blog that you wished she hadn’t? And if you don’t mind sharing what and why you wished she’d kept that quiet, I’d love to hear. I can’t say there is anything she has shared that I wished she hadn’t. I usually read what she writes before she posts it, and she asks me what I think; if there is anything questionable, she always checks if I’m okay with her sharing.
First question: Why the hell do either of you remember how tall you were in grade school?! I have to look at my driver’s license to know how tall I am NOW. I remember getting weighed and measured in PE right before high school started and hoping that I would hit that elusive 5′ even goal. It finally happened the next summer. You don’t easily forget going from 5’ to 6’ that fast.
Second question: How does Bryan feel being the man behind a good woman? Um, that totally came out wrong. Never mind. Yeah– better leave that one– I promised myself I would keep these answers relatively clean.
Gratuitous picture of hot husband to break up lengthy question section.
Third question: Do you get as worked up as TaMAHra does when people mispronounce her name? Seriously, how many gray hairs has this caused her to sprout? Do you get similarly enraged with people spell your name with an “i”? (If I admitted on here that Tamara had any gray hairs, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be welcomed back home after work.) When I’m emailing somebody and sign my name and then they begin the reply by spelling my name with an “i” when they just flippin’ read my name, it ticks me off. I usually find myself replying back intentionally misspelling their name as badly as I can.
Fourth question: In seriousness, how do you deal with the negative attention that comes Tamara’s way because of this blog? I know that she’s gotten some. Have you had to tell someone to “step off,” “talk to the hand” or eat your shorts? (Disclaimer: I am apparently unable to make references that touch on topics that happened after 1994.) I’ve never actually had to tell the “wastoids” to “take a chill pill” or I’ll “open up a can of whoop a$$” but I have definitely wanted to. I think most of the negative attention becomes fodder for us to make fun of late at night.
Cassie Chang (@TinyandFierce__):
How has Tamara’s faith affected your own journey with faith? How did you deal with the times when you weren’t on the same spiritual level?
What was it like being married for so many years with different beliefs?
I know she wouldn’t agree, but from my perspective, she’s always been so strong and confident and unwavering in her faith. When we had different beliefs, it wasn’t really something I felt like I had to deal with– it was hard for her, but for me it just wasn’t a big deal.
kevinrhaggerty:
When Tamara puts on a new roll of toilet paper, does she let the paper hang over or tuck under? Because, over is the only acceptable way to do it. Right? I honestly have no idea what way the toilet paper hangs, nor which way it’s supposed to. When I’m using it, I’m just focused on the job at hand. [Editorial note from Tamára: The correct way is to hang it under. I will change it if it's on the wrong way.]
Just how BAD is Tamára’s sweet tooth? This is vital information. As I type this, I am 2/3, ¾, done with a good sized bag of Sour Patch Kids, so I might not be the best judge. Maybe it’s a communicable disease?
My personal Secret Service? HIRED.
Do you ever find yourself in protective mode where you want to go find someone that was abusive in comments with your loved one and take them out? Baseball bats, etc.? I absolutely find myself in protective mode. When she starts writing books, I’m probably going to need to recruit a posse to shadow her when she travels (any volunteers?). I keep threatening her that if she ends up doing a lot of traveling, I’ll quit my job and be her traveling security.
curly2880:
What little quirky things bug you about each other? Hmm – I just asked her the same question so I would be safe writing something here, but she thinks I’m so perfect she can’t think of anything. So, umm, neither can I… Just kidding. I really can’t think of anything.
(a) Tamara’s oddest food obsession is fish tacos or sweet potato fries.
(b) When Tamara was at Killer Tribes, I spent the entire day trying not to see what time it was until her speech was over.
(c) My favourite quirky thing that Tamara does is fold candy wrappers into perfect squares after she eats the candy.
(d) The best thing about Canada is Youppi.
Sarah H.:
Tell us about something you never would have done if you didn’t have Tamara in your life. This could be a long list. I never would have gone to see a musical, gone to church, witnessed the births of our five beautiful children, or attended a high school prom in a powdered blue tuxedo.
He also wouldn’t have been a Converse convert.
Then tell us about something she never would have done if you weren’t in her life. Wow the list of things I never would have done without her is way more impressive than what I can think of here. She never would have seen any of the Star Wars movies or gone to a game at Fenway Park.
I’d also love you to give us the top three things that make your wife different from (and better than) what the Tamara Out Loud image can convey given the limitations of the blogging medium.
She is a very protective mom. Cross her family and she comes out baring claws.
She gets so much joy in sharing her writing, especially when she gets a comment from someone that her writing has helped.
She doesn’t actually talk about bacon that much in real life.
What do YOU think of Tamara’s blog? Has there ever been a post that surprised you? I love her blog– I try to read every post before anyone else, but sometimes they aren’t done until ridiculously late at night. The two that surprised me most were Watering Weeds into Flowers and What’s a Girl Worth. Watering Weeds makes me smile every time I read it, plus it makes me sound all wise and stuff. What’s a Girl Worth made me hug her non-stop for probably 2 days straight.
Who is your favorite soccer club, Bryan? I’ve always liked playing soccer, but I’ve never been a big fan of watching, with the exception of the World Cup where my favorite team is whoever is playing Brazil. They just strike me as the NY Yankees of soccer.
“I’d rather do it than just watch.” TWHS
sonnylemmons:
In the movie of your life, who would play the button? (Really; Tim Burton would kill for the movie rights to this.) That would easily be the worst movie ever, like Jersey-Girl-bad. But of course Ryan Gosling would play the button, just for Tamara’s delight.
Have you ever considered asking people to pronounce your name Bry-YAHN to match your wife’s pronunciation? Ha! Now that just sounds pretentious.
And as a fellow husband: Seriously, how have you not/how tempted have you been to find and be less-than-passive towards some of the comments – both personal and critical – that have come towards Tamara? My not-so-kind words towards those comments always come out– I just don’t want them to reflect on Tamara’s space, so I just share them with her.
Do you like black licorice flavoured things? Can’t say I’m a big fan– I can’t stand the jelly beans or Jaegermeister, for instance. But I do enjoy a good piece of licorice, especially the ones shaped like pipes– do they still make those?
On a scale of 1-10, how stoked are you about Marvel’s Avengers hitting theaters this coming Friday? I have to admit, my enthusiasm is a little bit tempered because I still haven’t seen Thor or the new Hulk. I’ll give it a 6.5 now, with a good chance of 9 if I enjoy Thor (which I’ll finally see tonight). I grew up a Justice League fan– if they finally ever get a movie, that would be an instant 11 out of 10.
Lisa Colón DeLay (@LisaColonDelay):
You guilty pleasure is…..?
These: 
They are delicious; I could easily eat an entire bag in one sitting.
hopefulleigh:
When are y’all going to visit Nashville and have fried pickles with me? Wow I got all the way through these questions without a single inappropriate joke, and then a pickle comment gets lobbed my way. How can I resist? Tamara is the only pickle fan in this family. ZING. But visiting Nashville would be really cool.
Are you going to see The Avengers? What’s your guilty pleasure? Which way are you supposed to hang toilet paper?
Love getting to both of you better! Yes, I’m going to see The Avengers. After working a summer job as a hotel housekeeper, the correct way to hang toilet paper is over. As a parent, the correct way is to have some in the bathroom.
See, I think hotels are the only places “over” makes sense. They just have to make the little fold so you’re not skeeved about the reminder that a million other people have used the same toilet seat.
This was so fun to read!
Many, many thanks to Bryan, the pickle, I mean, man in your life.
And NO, Bryan, that is NOT my husband! Though that picture made me laugh until I snorted.
Also, he’s a total beer snob so it wouldn’t be a coors lite or bud (no offense), it would have to be something more interesting.
If you’re ever in the ATL, y’all can go to the Sweetwater brewery while Tamara and I go shopping for stripper shoes.
Thanks for playing along! This was super fun!
I am a lifelong fan of your beautiful wife. Not only does she inspire and challenge me, but she makes me laugh and that’s the best part!
I feel kinda bad about the deluge of clicks the poor Button King is getting from TOL. I feel like he should definitely get to have a snobby beer too.
Bryan, I am totally inspired by how you handle….the way people mess up your name, especially in an email. I’m a Wendi not a Wendy but I cannot tell you how many times I will receive reply emails with the salutation Dear Wendy. I always want to scream, “Did you just totally ignore my name or are you just stupid?!” So I think from now on, when someone messes my fabulously spelled name in a reply email to me, especially when it’s family members, I am going to totally screw with their names in response. LOL Maybe I’ll just call them by a totally different name altogether.
This was a fun post – to hear from the guy supporting Tamara. Very cool!
Hahaha! I love that you’re inspired by my husband’s passive-aggression.
Lol it’s a horrible thing I know but the family? It’s so wrong!
Okay, so Tamara is wrong about Reese’s Eggs AND toilet paper. Two strikes, lady. Two strikes.
Great to meet you a bit more, Bryan. Your answers confirm that I would just love your whole family.
Thanks for having my back on the TP, though I assume your answer was less about solidarity as it was just a stand for truth. I mean, who wants to go fishing for TP under the roll when they need it. Nonsense, I say.
How you have four children who have never wildly spun an over-hanging roll, I have no idea. And now I wish it upon you.
My wife would kill me for confessing this, but our 5yo sweetie somehow, at times, manages to wipe from an “over” installed roll without tearing any sheets off. So you can imagine what happens: like Tom Petty, that paper is free-falling’ into the commode off that spinning spindle.
SEE?!
This makes no sense to me.
It makes no sense to me, either–yet it is. Somehow, she is able to use the paper without tearing it off the roll. But she still puts it in bowl; thus, when flushed, it spins freely off the roll, and down into the drink.
Apparently I just have well-behaved children.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Seriously, they liked to pull tissues/wipes out of boxes. Or stick sanitary napkins all over the bathroom. Or unwrap every tampon and swell them up in the sink. But not spin out toilet paper.)
Fenway is totally awesome. Also… sometimes I cry when I think about the Garden being gone… but don’t tell anyone.
It’s wicked awesome.
And I’m from New England, so you can imagine how much my family appreciated this Florida boy for his excellent taste in baseball.
Of that I have no doubt…
This was fun to read! Thanks for answering my question. According to almost all accounts Avengers rocks. Plans are to take my 13yo to see it this evening.
Guilty pleasure: carbs (like yesterday I had 3 donuts for breakfast).
The correct way is over, unless you’re one of my children, and then the paper is just set on top of the holder.
Thanks for the question! Have fun at the movies!
Tamára and Bryan are very lucky persons to meet each other in this live. I wish I knew them better!!
Thank you. He would like to meet you some day too.
I have an OCD friend that yells about the toilet paper too. Now I just hang it wrong so I can make fun of him for getting angry. This was a great read! What a great family you have! My guilty pleasure is carbs. Pasta, Chips. I’m a salty snacker.
Who said anything about OCD?! I just hang TP the right way and fold wrappers properly when I’m done with them!
Oh.
My excitement level for The Avengers is about a million out of ten.
Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, Bryan! =)
Wow, that is an extreme excitement level. Wait, does this movie have Wolverine? Because then I get it. I really do.
TaMARa, no Wolverine, but it has PLENTY of eye candy, starting with Robert Downey Jr.
Ok all you big bad boys out there, I saw AVENGERS this afternoon and it was like TOTALLY, UNBELIEVABLY………..gonna leave you hanging, ha!
Such a fun “interview.” Loved the questions you guys chose; love you guys.
Aw, thank you, Addie! xo
Tamara, I’m so glad to see others agree with me: you are just wrong about the toilet paper. BUT you did provide me with the pragmatic note that kids are more likely to make it all roll off if it’s the way I like it. So now I’m just confused, because *I* am supposed to be the pragmatic one…
Bryan, great job with the questions! And you should not underrate the importance of being responsible for your wife’s viewing of Star Wars.
I mean, if y’all want out-of-contol TP rolls, that’s your business. I’ll go about doing things the right way all by myself. And can we PLEASE stop talking about bathroom stuff?!
I much prefer handling things like lightsabers.
Total fun. And I’m stealing this idea. Except I don’t trust what my DH will say about me…
Was that an issue for you, T?
Oh, and we’d have TP wars. It goes on the outside. When I lived in Thailand and had a maid every day, she proved this point. You can fold the end of the TP into a nice point…which is how we all want to come home to our TP…
(Note: there was a sale on ellipses).
Make this happen soon. I am readying my questions.
Ha. Can’t wait. Or maybe I can…
I cannot WAIT to hear from your husband. I trusted him, but I peeked anyway, mostly because I get a little particular about good punctuation.
Although of course my husband is pretty good at it…
Awe, he’s a good hubby
He really is. I’m so glad you all get a glimpse!
Ah, I loved how much love is in this posting! What a wonderful family! But about the toliet paper….I have always had animals, and over the top is just too tempting for a puppy or kitten, so I’m a “under” girl because they can’t see the end of the paper. What’s more to the point should be what BRAND of TP? Nothing but Charmin touches this girl!
Yes! See? “Under” is the way of adult humans.
Fun post! I actually was first introduced to Tamara at Killer Tribes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Bryan. Avengers? I’ll see it at some point. I’m a bit more of a DC guy. I did just watch Captain America and that was surprisingly good.
My guilty pleasure is chocolate chip cookies. I am a bit obsessed.
TP? Whatever way it gets put on the hanger is correct. I don’t care at all one way or the other, as LONG AS THERE IS TP. That’s all I care about.
I don’t want to brag, but I make pretty amazing chocolate chip cookies. Also, I do kind of want to brag.
You realize you can’t say things like that without backing it up, right? Killer Tribes 2 I want chocolate chip cookies. I don’t care if I have to be your taxi cab, or roadie. I want amazing chocolate chip cookies!
Nice job, Bryan. (note care to spell it right. spelled it wrong a couple weeks ago in a comment, same comment in which I spelled it right. don’t want to get myself hurt or blasted. ; )
We’ve got some stuff in common:
1) Anyone that hates the Yankees is alright in my book (though my Yankee hating stems from being a Dodger fan, not a Red Sox fan.)
2) I was always a DC over Marvel guy as a kid, though I’ve gotta say that the Marvel movie franchise is kicking the DC movie franchises’ collective tail. (I was more of a Legion of Superheroes fan than JL, but it was still DC.)
3) the late but fast growth thing… I was that elusive 5’0″ going into 9th grade (smallest kid on Jr High football team), grew 7 inches in the next year, but only gained 13 lbs.
On the toilet paper issue, it’s not just the kids that spin the roll if it hangs the other way — our cats used to dump the toilet paper before we had kids, got us to switch how we hung it.
Good job, and thanks for answering all the questions (vs those that pick and choose which to answer… nice you didn’t leave anyone out.)
Thanks for your questions, Dan! I’m sure Bryan will appreciate all the solidarity, but clearly the most important point is that you agree with ME.
Pretty stoked about The Avengers.
It’s cute how many of you grown men are still excited about your comic book movies. Have fun!
We are not cute. We are big, brave, strong, testosterone-fueled machines…who happen to still wear Captain America t0shirts from time to time.
When I was in college (in the 80′s) I was spending close to $100 per month on comics. My addiction was crazy.
“I do enjoy a good piece of licorice.” You talk dirty even when you don’t mean to. I looooove you!
I totally get the misspelled name thing. I teach college students, and I ask them to call me Niki and never Nicole. Daily, often in direct reply to a message where I’ve signed my name, I’m addressed as: Nicole, Nichole, Nikole, Mrs. Cox (I’m not married, and Mrs. Cox is my 73-year-old mother, thank you), Nikki, Nickie, Nicci, Nicky, etc. This also happens way too often on FB, my blog, and emails from aunts, uncles, and cousins. Seriously? On FB? Where my name is RIGHT THERE?!?!?!?!
I swear.
No, seriously, I do. Reckless name-botching pisses me off.
I love that you intentionally misspell the person’s name after they read and misspell your name. You are my new hero! I’m so going to do that from now on.
And I’m glad that my question gave you the opportunity to be inappropriate. Always glad to be of service, IYKWIM.
He really went out with a bang, eh?
What is weird about sweet potatoes and fish tacos? Seriously!
These are so fun!
Absolutely nothing. I miss hanging out– wanna get dinner?
Woohoo! Go Habs! Youppi’s the best
I had no idea who/what Youppi was until Bryan explained him/it to me; I now know that he/it was the only mascot ever to jump sports. Just one more quirky thing for me to love about our “neighbours” to the north.
Bryan’s answers just make me love my son in law that much more.
Yeah. He’s pretty great.
I was going to threaten to change all of the T.P. at your house to over-rollers. I then remembered that you have 5 children that are happy and healthy and productive little members of society…all while keeping toilet paper on the roller. I, on the other hand, have 3 cats that I cannot keep from eating the toilet paper, no matter which way it’s on. I stand in amazement of you and Bryan always.(No matter which way your T.P. rolls.)
Love it. Love you. Best TP response ever. xo
LOVED this slice of life. Seriously impressed with your choice in husbands, Tamara. Thanks, Bryan for loving your wife so well.
Thanks, Diana!
Nicely done Brian. I’m sorry, I stir stuff up. I went to see The Avengers a couple of weeks ago. Yeah I know but it opened in April down here. This week I’m going to buy the DVD. As for the TP as long as it’s not hanging out of my pants leg when I walk out I’m good.
Open and honest…after 40 years with the perfect man for me that’s definitely part of the secret.
I should do something like this with Stu… Great post! Very funny, too! My life has been one big falling forward and misadventure with 8 kids. Keeps it interesting. And that’s especially when you’re in your early 40′s and hitting the “selfish phase” again. I mean, really, after 20+ years of parenting can I not just go to the bathroom alone?! Please…
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