Today’s guest post comes from Shanda Sargent of The Upside Down Pastor’s Wife. Shanda is an all-around beautiful woman, always offering encouragement and love. Her raw honesty and humble words here make an exquisite gift that I’m honored to share. –Tamara
Stones in the dirt.
Words in the sand.
I am the girl on the ground. Earth dirt is on my forehead, my lips, in my hair. Bits of grit are in my teeth, and my heart is filled with sludge. Sludge and darkness.
Stones in hands more worthy than mine.
Stones that should be hurled. Without mercy.
I brace myself. I protect my head with filthy hands. I hear disgusted mumbles around me. I am scandal. I am stained. Shame wells up spilling into tears that leave muddy streaks on my cheeks and small puddles beneath my face. A ragged stick scratches mere words in the earth.
One by one.
HE touches me. I quake. Like shards of glass, HIS LIGHT pierces through my deadened soul. I am undone. HE removes my scarlet garment. I am FREE.
Whispers of unworthiness labor to sever me from freedom new. I scratch and claw my way to protect the remembrance of HIS touch.
My heart is cloudy. My head is blurred. I am in disbelief. I am lost. HE tenderly comes. HE never tires.
HIS whispers serenade me.
You are seen.
You are loved.
You are worthy.
You are mine.
I cling to HIS TRUTH like air. I believe. I trust. I matter. I am seen. I am loved. I am worthy.
I am HIS.
I am grateful.
Shanda Sargent belongs to her beloved, Matt, and homeschools their four very cool kids near the foothills of the Rockies. After almost 20 years of pastoral ministry, their family is “ruthlessly trusting” God in the midst of plan B.