We set up camp for the evening– beach chairs and my parents’ threadbare comforter, boogie boards and amateur sculpting tools, coolers and canvas bags filled with dinner and late-night snacks and anticipation. The kids dug and flung, chased and squealed. The grownups drank deep the salty air and fleeting moment.
A rough and drawn-out thunderstorm, so unlike the typical Floridian summer evening showers, had threatened to dash the whole night, to cast gloom where so many would look for illumination, to beat down the white powder nestling places. But with just enough time to restore the centerpiece event, the torrent ceased.
So we sat together, he and I, toes in sand, fingers entwined, and we tuned out children’s restless clamor and watched a lighting sky. Beams burst and shone and flickered and faded, one after the other, spectacular in sight and sound. And one kind of these in particular caught up my heart: It rose, straight and furious, then vanished.
But it was not finished.
Out of darkness, its light returned and broke into an explosion, expanding fuller and brighter, burning with a glory its first streak had only hinted at. I didn’t know what, but I knew it meant something.
And as we dug our feet down into sand where so many years ago he bent on one knee before me, I realized: It meant us.
Us, married so young, apart in spirit; threatened by relentless storm. Him, tuning me out; me, turning away; shuttling on a furious path. Us, too far gone, at the end of possibility; to our eyes extinguished.
But it was not finished.
God broke in as only, ever He can do, transforming despair into hope, turning hearts toward each other, drawing lives into His. He gifted us a whole new marriage, deep and true in a way the one begun with knee in sand so many years ago had only hinted at.
Out of darkness a thrilling light burst onward– and with just enough time to restore the centerpiece event.
Wow…that’s a freakin’ great post. I love the descriptions you used…I almost felt like I was standing there with you.
Thanks for saying so. It was definitely an exercise in descriptive writing– glad you liked it.
Heart filled with joy for you. <3
Thanks, Mom.
brillaint , heart felt writing.
goods by god and also evil by him. he breaks to mend.
“He breaks to mend.” Awesome.
Ah, it was so refreshing to read this.
I’m glad; thank you.
Best. love. letter. ever.
Oh, Tamara. So, so beautiful and hopeful. That God – he’s so smart!
Isn’t He? Just amazing. The master orchestrator.
Extremely filled with joy for the two of you.
Thanks so much, Jessica.
He heals the broken hearted. His plans outshine ours.
Amen. Amen.
Love this piece… so openly honest.
Thank you. I don’t know that there’s any point in writing without honesty.
Simply lovely and emotionally wrecking.
With this post, you brought your A game
Thank you. I guess I just need Mr. TOL goading me.
After reading all the great comments regarding this post, the following came to mind:
“He makes beauty from ashes”
He is the potter, we are the clay”
“He makes all things beautiful in His time”
He is an awesome God, and in you he has created a marvelous ability to use words and images to show forth His glory. (or as Tessie would say, His “yory”!)
Well that’s humbling.
Thank you.
Good post, Tamara. And I like the link to your “best story” post, which is one of my faves of yours, and I think might be the first of your posts I ever read. I like the way you can transition from deep, poignant and honestly soul-baring to outrageously funny, edgy… and still honestly soul-baring!
A testament to your diversity… I think your “best story” was the first post I read of yours. Later I saw the “ahem” escapades of biking in New York…. It was only a few posts later that I realized all of the above were from the same writer.
Good stuff, Maynard….
Aw, thanks. I think that’s just what happens when you set out to write about life honestly– you get the deep stuff and the funny stuff, sometimes even at the same time. I don’t see any reason to separate them, you know?
Yes! These are the stories we need to tell—the redemption stories! And we need to tell them not just once, but every time they strike us, nearly knocking us over again. Each time we tell these stories, they reach different people in different moments, for different reasons.
Thanks for that affirmation. It wasn’t till I was done writing it that I realized it was the same story as my Deeper Story post “The Best Story”– I had just wanted to show how the fireworks struck me. But you’re right– these stories of redemption are the ones we most need to tell, so hopefully, told in a new way and in a new time, it’s doing new good.
Beautiful, Tamara, beautiful. In so many ways, on so many levels.
Thank you, friend.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story written so beautifully – really loved it.
Thank you. It’s my honor to tell it.
we have phoenix stories in common. loved this telling. the beauty of yours helps me see the beauty of mine. love your voice.
Thank you, my dear friend. Love your voice, too, and more than that, your heart.
Straddling the land between hopefulness and contentedness is difficult. Most of the time I live in the latter because I want to be respectful of the person I love more than anyone else in the world. But it can leave me a bit dry.
Thank you for offering me a drink today.
I’m so grateful that’s what it was for you.
Just beautiful! Thank you.
My pleasure.
Beautiful
Thanks!
Tamara:
Isn’t this what we do everyday? Work to make it work? Some days it is easier than others, no? I think being in a committed relationship is one of the most wonderful, most difficult things to do in the world. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece.
I love your heart, RAS-J. For me it was beyond the point of working to make it work: I was done. And then, only by God’s grace, I wasn’t.
a gifted piece of writing. I enjoyed every word. A wonderful picture of the transformational work of God’s grace, like you said, as only he can do.
Thank you– so glad you enjoyed it.
Beautiful story. It reminds me of an article about an elderly couple. They were married for seventy plus years and still “in love”. When asked about the secret for their success, the husband said they “started over” many times over the course of their marriage. Only instead of beginning a relationship with someone new, they started over with each other.
Now *that* is beautiful. What commitment.
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