I’m thrilled to share with you today’s guest post by Becky from The Holloway Clan. She and I met through an online parenting board years ago and have found kindred spirits in one another though we’ve never met in person. I look forward to the day we get to share our stories over coffee. I think you’ll see why. –Tamara
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“This is a song called GRAVITY. And I wrote it about my first real heartbreak.” The tender and mournful strains of Sara Bareilles’s voice fill my kitchen, and then I hear my 6-year old son’s voice pipe in.
“Mom, what is heartbreak?” Big blue expectant eyes, shining with anticipation. A new grown-up word to add to his vocabulary.
Heartbreak.
The answer catches in my throat. This is one of those moments when all the What to Expect books fail. This is a moment you don’t ever anticipate and which blindsides you with its ordinariness and heaviness. This is a moment, pivotal in its innocence, but which you know he will probably never remember, until his child asks him one day perhaps. But you will.
Heartbreak – a meaning whose sum is greater than its parts.
Heartbreak is looking into the eyes of someone who has told you over and over again that they love you, only this time they don’t. No reason. No explanation. The passion and intimacy you’ve shared is discarded. Apparently love can just die.
Heartbreak is love interrupted, ripped away. It is the silent scream that parts the lips of the mother who has just lost her husband in a horrific accident, two small babies at her ankles.
Heartbreak is watching the one you love waste away into an unidentifiable mass of cells whose every breath is pain. There is no dignity in death. It is the ultimate equalizer.
Heartbreak is failure, loneliness, loss.
Heartbreak is the Father’s rejection in the Son’s darkest hour. Heartbreak is knowing you have no other Hope than Him.
And in that moment, heartbreak was looking into the eyes of wholeness and knowing I couldn’t prevent its inevitability.
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Writing runs deep in my veins and while I sometimes work on my novel, I also blog to relieve the pent-up torrent of words that overflow my life. I am the head of business development at a software start-up in Philadelphia, mother to three little ones 6 and under, and wife of 11 years to a bona fide historian with 2 PhDs (I know, crazy!). I love to knit, blog, listen to audio books, and garden. I dream of some day having enough money to buy a little house in Aberdeen, Scotland and writing to my heart’s content.
Read more by Becky at The Holloway Clan, and connect with her on Twitter!
This just cracked my heart, a little. Powerful. Beautiful.
Perfect.
All I can say is: wow. What a powerful moment.
Beautifully written, I believe you captured the true emotion with your words.
Wow! It’s so difficult when you as a parent must decide if a child is ready for a painful truth. Very powerfully written.
Becky, this is just perfect. Thank you so much for sharing your gift here. Love you, friend.
What a simply lovely post. I’m so glad that Tamara has introduced us to you. Heading to read more now.
Wow. Completely beautiful… and devastatingly true.
Wonderful. Thanks for sharing this!
I tried to comment from my iPhone but it overheated! Now, back at home, I can tell you that I am so excited to meet your friend becky. SHe is truly a beautiful writer, and this piece is positively gorgeous. It really captures what heartbreak is. I can’t imagine trying to explain it to my son. Or anyone. Maybe I’ll print it out and hand it to him one day, you know, when he asks.
I’m excited for everyone to meet her too! She is a treasure.
Start spending more time on your novel. I must say, its absolutely moving what you wrote…
Heartbreak is also having your 3-year-old ask, “I have a brother and two sisters but why does my one sister not live here anymore?” and trying to explain death to him.
Lovely achy post. I so get this.
What a wonderfully, poignant post. Our children, our teachers. A message for Becky to visit my friend Jean’s website about her adventures as an American living in Scotland. http://albaliving.com I’ll leave a message over at your site as well! Great choice, Tamara!
Thanks, I thought so too.
Always a pleasure to meet a new, fantastic writer. But Tamara: beautiful writers attract beautiful writers! Thanks for the introduction!
My pleasure.
beautiful words, heartbreaking indeed. to both becky and tamara, i feel grateful to have found both of your blogs!
Grateful to have you here!