This post was Freshly Pressed on Wed., June 8, 2011. I’m delighted by all the comments but cannot possibly respond to them all. Please know I’m reading and enjoying each one. Thanks for visiting the blog!
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People have been getting my name wrong my whole life. Hell, my own parents got my name wrong before I was born. I didn’t stand a chance.
As my mother tells it, she and my birthfather were listening to their Spanish records and fell in love with a song about a kind and beautiful Queen Tamara who was adored by her people. It wasn’t until after I was born that a closer listen dethroned my regal name– the song was about a Queen Samara. So much for swooning subjects.
But they left my name unchanged, and their nominal steadfastness brought with it a lifelong set of inquiries, injustices, and eff-ups.
Tamara: "tah-MAH-rah," not Tammy, not tomorrow
Right from the start my mother trained me to revile the nickname Tammy. I don’t recall any outright Tammybashing, but I was repeatedly assured that my name was so beautiful in full, any shortening would be a moral travesty. For whatever reason, Tammy in particular was suspect. The family nickname Mari was acceptable, but as its use was confined to one aunt on my father’s side and one uncle on my mother’s, it never gained footing in my greater social circles.
And so, amid my elementary class full of Jennies and Katies and Jessies, I had not only an unpronounceable but also an unshortenable name. (Side note: I had three close friends named Sara[h], and they all swung on the tire swing at recess singing Starship’s Sara, and it really fucking pissed me off.)
With no nickname as recourse, I had to endure– and still do, mind you– all manner of butchering and nauseous humor. Once, attendance was being called on a high school field trip and the chaperone didn’t know what to make of my name: “TAM-ara? Tah-MARE-ah? Tammy? Tam?” she bumbled, until my classmates, tired as I was of the incessant mispronunciation, chorused, “Tah-MAH-rah!”
And still, some hilarious– and by that I mean not at all– joker will hear my name’s correct pronunciation and quip about “yesterday,” ” today,” or “next week” as though he were the first clever fellow to notice the similarity my name bears to the pronunciation of tomorrow.
So, loath to have my name spoken, read, or imagined incorrectly one day longer, I begged the aid of my audio-equipped friend Carter. (Side note: I frequently harass Carter for help, favors, and guidance of varied nature. I like to think of myself as the annoying kid sister he never wished for.) And the fruit of my harassment is this: More svelte than any phonetic spelling, more discernible than any diacritical marks, I give you Tamara, out loud.
Enjoy. And please don’t eff it up.
What’s your name? Do people make a mess of it? And how do you feel about Starship’s Sara? (Careful– I might just push you off a tire swing.)
Oh, do I feel your pain. My name is Leonore. LEE-oh-nore. Not Lenore, not Eleanor, not Lauren, not Leah. The most mangled pronunciation was from the father of a friend in high school: Lorinell. That one made the rounds all through senior year. My sister’s strange pronunciation prompted co-workers from my high school mall job (where my sister also worked) to call me Eeyore.
I don’t know how many times I’ve corrected someone’s pronunciation only to be called “Lenore” again within the hour. By the same person. I’ve grown to really detest “The Raven.”
I do shorten my name – or rather, allow it to be shortened. In middle school, my friends started calling me “Lee Lee” and then just “Lee” (but spelled Le for some reason – not my doing) and starting in grad school, I became “Leo”, which is the nickname I prefer now. I still introduce myself using my full name, but with certain people, I’m still Leo. I’ll also use it in Starbucks or something because I just no longer have the energy it takes to ensure the coffeemongers get both the drink AND my name right.
As for Sara – anything put out after they were no longer Jefferson Airplane is pretty much a travesty. And even material done while they were still Jefferson Airplane is up for debate.
I LOVE your name!! Oh Lee-oh-nore! That is just gorgeous!
I’m just glad I can stop calling you “lemur” in my head.
My name is Carissa. No, there are NOT three “R’s”, four “S’s” or ANY “E’s!” I don’t know what it is about almost every single person I have met in my life, but none of them can spell my name correctly. At least not the first time. Also, my name should not be confused with Clarissa or Marissa, or even Chrisa. For some reason people most commonly and incorrectly assume there are two “R’s” in a row. Nope, and I dare them to find a name that does!
Harriet has two R’s in a row…but I get your point. :]
I’m a Carissa too. And the oldest one I know. In Hawaii, where I grew up, the most common mispronunciation turned the “i” into a long “e” a la Careesa. Say what? Oh, and Clarissa. Gah! Christy was right up there too.
Worse yet, many skip right past the C’s and call me Theresa. Huh?
“Oh, your name is sooo hard! Can I call you Chris?”
“No.”
Word on the two “R’s.” Or, two R’s and one S. Or one R and one S. Clarice anyone?
Our names are soo similar!
My name is Clarissa, and like Carissa said, it’s there’s one “R”, not two. Two “S’s” not one.
I’ve been confused most often with Clarice, and quite often get the Silence of the Lambs reference, “hello Clarice.” It’s probably my most hated movie quote of all time now.
My name is Leonore, too! I picked up the nickname Leo in college as well. So funny!
My name isn’t Leonore… but I like your user name!
D
Welcome to land http://www.guccimonopoly.com/
I was a Leona with the same problem (people still call me Lenore to this day). I, too, shortened to Leo in grade school because anything else just became bad. There are only two exceptions to this rule. One, my brother can call me pretty much whatever he wants because I do the same to him, and two, I went by Lee for a few years in college, but most of the friends from that era call me Leo now, any way.
I feel your pain and annoyance.
Well, who’da thunk it? I’m glad you put this out there because I’ve been pronouncing your name wrong (in my head, anyway) since the first time I saw one of your posts – I had it rhyming with “camera”. As soon as you mentioned the parents got it from a spanish record, I knew that was wrong….
My first name isn’t hard to say, but my last name is mispronounced more often than not. My name is NOT McGonagle, like the professor in Harry Potter; it is McMonagle, with two M’s. People pronounce it McGonagle all the time, which boggles my mind since there is no “G” after the “Mc”, but I’ve gotten used to it.
By the way, you’re not the only Tamara I’ve ever known that pronounces your name that way. You may be in the minority, but you’re not alone.
Good for you for understanding Spanish pronunciation. If only the rest of the English-speaking world would catch up, I could breathe easy.
You have a good sense of humor… I can’t imagine any Harry Potter fan resisting calling you McGonagle. It’s a great name…
Your name is nice too, but it is probably difficult for people to get it out of their heads… I mean, compared to Smith or Franklin or Jackson or Shwartz or other names that people are used to seeing and are short enough to notice any anomalies, your name is pretty rare… and long enough that our inherent mental laziness will lead us to just trust whatever our first (wrong may it be) impression of your name is.
Starship sucks. Every time I hear a Starship song, I want to punch myself in the face.
As for names, I’m just Bill. My last name, Sergott, pronounced SIR-got, is slaughtered all the time. SIR-git, SAR-gent, SER-git, sir-GOT, and all manner of pronunciations that I can’t possibly write out phonetically. Of course, when the movie, “Bill”, came out, with Mickey Rooney playing a man struggling with mental development issues (of course, in the 80′s, he was just “retarded”), I received unlimited amounts of torture. “I’m William, Bill for short!” Ugh. I feel your pain, Tamara. I feel your pain.
I’m going to drown my sorrows in a 40 of Old English and put on my Starship LP…
How can people possibly screw up “Sergott?” I swear.
My name is always pronounced right…but with that “ie” on the end, it is NEVER spelled right. That “ie” has always been a problem for me.
I’m one of those no-shortening-of-the-name mothers. My daughter is Katarina, and before she was born, I put the fear into all our friends and family that they would NOT call her “Kat”. Katie (yes with an “ie” – I am such a hypocrite) was okay, but not Kat. I have name issues.
I love the recording!
“Katarina” is such a beautiful name. I think you ought to go my mother’s route and kill all nicknames for her.
Mine is also spelled numerous kinds of wrong. Kristin. With a K and two “i”‘s. Even with that, people manage to screw it up, sometimes tacking on extra letters.
I learned to tune out shortenings or alternate pronunciations to my name – I’m not Krissy, Kristy, Christine, Christina, Christian, etc.
My name is Kristina and I HATE when I get called Kristin. I do go by Krissy though..
My name is Katrina. But people I meet for the first time would forget this and call me Katherine. I’d rather be called by my nickname which is Kat.
My name is Kathleen and people always forget too and say Katherine as well, i absolutely HATE that name, when i played softball i went by Kat. I go by my full name, some people say “can i call you Kathy?”, i simply say “no, that’s not my name”
Yup. Spelling and pronunciation problems with Alise all the time. I finally added a phonetic spelling to my About Me page on my blog to help people. But they still jack it up. Elise. Alice. Alyse. Alyssa. I extra hated that when I was a kid and we’d go on a family vacation to Niagra Falls, I could never get any kind of tchotchke with my name on it while my sisters totally could because they had normal names. Not. Fair.
I’m also entertained that I have also fully jacked up my last name as well. Wright is super easy, but I thought I’d be all clever on my blog and do a little homophone action with Write. So yeah, now I’m Alice Write. *sigh*
Yes! I could rarely find “Tamara” tchotchkes either. And when I did, I just *knew* they were really meant to say “TAM-ara” or “tah-MARE-ah.”
When I was a young girl, Amber was not a common name at all and many people would call me April or (who knows why) Heather or Angie, like how hard is Amber anyway? My last name (both) are always messed up….delwey is ALWAYS Dooley or Dewey or Dewlee. And my maiden name… Schorkopf. Try that on for size in a midwest Indiana school. shore-cough is the correct way to say it. You might imagine the numerous ways to butcher that! Great post…very funny.
And as for tchotchkes, I always just picked up rocks for souveniers. They last longer and how many things with your own name on them do we really need anyway? LOL!
Congrats on Freshly Pressed!!
I am gonna read some more of your stuff tonight…oh and BTW I totally got the pronunciation right in my head, but I know a Tamara so that is why most likely. Cheers!!
How about Tamarinator? Or Mar-Dawg? Those cool?
People always messed up my name as a kid, and yet it seems pretty straightforward. Charles, Chas, Chance. Lots of hey, “Chase, this ball,” too. Bastards.
I bet Mr. Original Joker thought he was a genius for “Chase this ball.” Bastards indeed.
Wendi. That’s with an “i”. Not Wendy. Not Wendey. Not Wendie. And certainly not Windy.
Wehndee – Wendi with an “i”.
That’s been my life-long bane. But I love my name. Hated it as a kid and used to go around telling people that my name was either Robin (my favorite cousin when I was little kid) or Lynn (my middle name).
Then there’s the last name. For some reason my last name became confusing with Tucker and Ducker somewhere in the 10th grade. It’s Decker.
So then I was dealing with people who refused to spell my first name right (or give a shite about it) and asking me if, because in a backwards, hillbilly town you can be related to others on the basis of your first name, I was Dave Thomas’ daughter (Dave was the founder of Wendy’s restaurants).
Then I did a stupid thing….I got married. Okay, well, getting married wasn’t the stupid thing. I rather liked getting married and being married 14 years later. However…two years after I got married I still hadn’t updated my social security card to make my name change or get a new driver’s license. We had moved by this time from a hillbilly town in the South to a close second but up North. At the SS# office I was told that I could not have four names on my SS card. I was struggling with getting rid of my middle name in favor of keeping my maiden name still with me; and I didn’t want to ditch my maiden name to save my middle name. The clerk said, “Just hyphenate your last name.”
Later it dawned on me that I still have four names on my SS card. Also, having a hyphenated last name is a right pain in the rear. People don’t know to call me Ms. Decker or Ms. Miller or Ms. Decker-Miller. They see the hyphenation and just pick one randomly as if they had never seen a hyphenated name ever before. This is absurd to me. In 6th grade I went to school with a girl who’s last name was hyphenated. No one seemed to have a problem with her name! Harriston-Hall. But Decker-Miller is just too darn hard!
I hate “Sara” by Starship. If only because my Local BFF’s name is Sarah and she hates it a lot. I hate it for her. Solidarity.
Dave Thomas’ daughter! Awesome logic.
I have all manner of name issues.
First, my parents decided to name me and then call me my middle name. Every first day of school the teacher would call out my first and last name and I’d sign and say, “I go by Joy.”
Second, Joy. Mr. Genius Joker has a field day with Joy. I’ve been sung every single song with the word Joy in it. I will say it made me half-smile when I learned that all my (then acquaintance) now husband’s friends would smack and smirk and nudge him when in church they would sing the song, “You shall go out with joy.”
Third, four names on the SS card. I have them. I was totally planning to ditch my first name and be Joy (maiden name) (husband’s last name) after I got married and be done with the middle name ridiculousness forever. But then my mom got wind of it and with tears said “We chose that name for you!”
sigh
So…. *drum roll please* my first name is (first name) Joy. My middle name is my maiden name. And my last name is my married name.
Sounds perfect right? Except when you go to buy or sell anything and you have to sign four flippin’ names to EVERY PAGE.
Yup, I have name issues too.
P.S. I was saying “TAM-uh-ruh” in my head too. So now I know. And if (when!) I meet you, I won’t irritate you with the first sentence out of my mouth. Hopefully.
dangit. I’d SIGH not sign. Bah!
Well now I just want to know what your first name is.
You’ll have to bribe it out of me.
Mine is David. That’s pronounced DAY-vid. The stress is on the first syllable. It’s tricky. I wish people would get it right.
I don’t know, I think you’re gonna have to go with an audio clip.
This made me giggle and now, I’ll confess: I’ve been calling you Tam-MARE-ah and now stand duly corrected.
Love the voice lesson – great idea. Now when I see your blog title or name, I’ll hear it, properly said.
I forgive you.
Well, my name is Sarah–to be spelled with an H because it looks better. And I DESPISE Starship Sara(I promise I will never sing, mention, or reference it again. Don’t push me off the swing). When my parents glibly picked 1981′s most popular name, I got saddled with the constant reference of my first name combined with last initial, numbers…what could be more demeaning than being known as Sarah number 2 in Spanish class? I would have given my left arm to have an unusual name.
And I would’ve given my left arm to be Sarah 2. Funny how that works.
Can I have the extra left arms? They would probably come in handy when I’m trying to play Lady Gaga songs. Too many keyboard parts there.
Thanks.
Hey Tamara,
I so get you!!! My name is like huge for German culture. I not only have a long first double-name (Maria Fernanda), which many think is my full name and end up getting called Maria Fernandez, I have 3 last names from different countries!! If the going wasn’t tough enough, the first last name is Norwegian. So I try to see some humor into people calling me different things until I just get up and answer correcting them with my full name. Kinda snarky huh?
Loved your post Tah MAH rah!
So, after learning how tough it would be to have a complicated name, I spent most of my pregnancy looking for a name that would sound similar in every language. I stuck to Nora. There are no abbreviations, no changing letters, no sounding like anything else, no mistakes. Nora is Nora in all the languages I know. Then I just screwed her over a tiny bit by making her middle name complicated (Aliyah: sounds A-lee-a). After all, middle names are optional!
Exactly: You hide the tricky stuff in the middle name. Kudos.
A confession, Ta-MAH-ra..I mispronounced your name early and often (both mentally and ‘out loud’, as it were). Even when you came up in a conversation Alise and I were having last week as we waited for average food from a sucky waiter (man-server?) in a nice-LOOKING restaurant before a concert. And the clincher? I told her “I dooon’t caaaare!” in exasperated tones when she corrected me. The shame.
Now that I have been totally schooled on how important it is to you to have your name pronounced correctly, and I share that trait with you, I shall now think, write, and say your name with an emphasized “ahhh” in the middle.
Have a friggin’ fantastic day.
Good. Then I shall refrain from imagining your guitars to be hanging agape.
My point exactly. Not only is my last name challenging, but had to pick a brand name that leaves most people with their jaws hanging agape trying to figure out how to pronounce it. Sigh.
I have quite a lovely name, Veronica. I was indeed named after the Archie character my dad loved so much, but my mother did confide in me an original suspicion of it being a previous girlfriend’s name until he produced the much loved comics. Feeling that Veronica was too grownup a name for a little girl, my parents decided that I should learn to spell Roni instead, and so it began. Everyone wants to spell it Ronnie, but look at my name! The nickname comes out of it. And once people, and by people I mean kids, realized the spelling of my nickname the jokes ensued with them saying it with the long o. Let me just tell you, the Rice-a-Roni ad campaign of being the San Fransico treat did me NO favors in middle school, and Bobby Brown, I hate you and your tender Roni. My nickname is Roni, pronounced ron-EE and spelled R-O-N-I. Short, sweet, and to the point like me. I do also love my proper name Veronica, but don’t presume to serenade me with Elvis Costello. I have no intentions of becoming a senile old woman staring out a window trying to remember my life gone by, thank you. I’ll be that sassy old lady giving the orderlies a hard time, sweetly, of course.
So what you’re saying is you *don’t* want to be the San Fransisco treat?
If you’ve ever watched the Adams Family and heard Lurch, then you know the response to said question.
Yep – I used to say Windy with an “i” and they would spell it Wendi…I am now using “Windy…like it is ‘windy’ outside” when I have to correct people.
Have you met Wendi-with-an-i, above? You guys could have so much fun confusing people.
I don’t have a difficult name. At least I didn’t think I did until I started supply teaching. Miss Bast. Bast. One syllable. Four letters. This is NOT DIFFICULT. But apparently it is (and I’m not talking kids, they usually get it right). I get Best, Blast, Baste, Bass, Base, Beth, Bart, Bost, Fast, Mast but never Bast. Really? REALLY?
BAST. B-A-S-T.
I most often get Best, and then I use my cheeseball line: “Why yes, but that’s not my name.” Come on, people. That’s annoying. Don’t make me have to be annoying.
Sometimes you have to go for annoying to get it done. Just ask Carter.
You crack me up.
Try Shirtliffe. Yup, my maiden name and I *chose* to keep it.
Shirtlift
Shirtless
Shitliffe
Shirtlifter
Shitlifter
And still? I love it.
I would absolutely keep that name– so many inappropriate possibilities. But I have to ask: You never get Shitlist? Must be because you’re too sweet.
Oh gawd! “You never get Shitlist?” That made my night!
LMAO
Great post! My given first name is LeAnne – like the LeAnn Rimes – only I’ve been LeAnne far longer than she’s been alive
. Very easy. Not too off the wall.
But I get . . .
Leena, Luanne, Lanay, Lanie, Leslie, Leah, Lisa, Leenie, Lean (like Lean on Me), Leenay, Layla, Luanna, Leona, Leanna, and a host of other things I can’t even begin to figure out.
So, I go by Annie. Although some friends call me Lee, which is ok too.
And lets not get started with my maiden name – Stenberg – pronounced just like it’s spelled – STEN-berg. Two syllables. But I used to get Steenberg, Steinberg, Sternberg. People would ask me if I knew how to spell my name correctly because it could NOT possibly be so simple – S-t-e-n-b-e-r-g.
Now it’s Anderson. The closest thing I get is “s-o-n or -s-e-n?” when someone asks me how to spell it. Even though I’m divorced, I kept it because I was so tired of always explaining my name to everyone.
I know just what you mean. I never got this sort of thing with my first name, which is common enough to be hard to foul up. But oh God, the crap I’ve taken over the years for my last name. My family tolerates it being pronounced a couple of different ways but I’ve gotten quite unambiguous about it.
I pronounce it “DEE-oh” as opposed to another common stab it it, which is “DAY-oh” and which I both loathe and avoid. Because if I had a dollar for every time someone I met tried who pronunciation on for size and then imagined they were the first to follow it with singing “that song” I’d be a man of leisure, endlessly sipping tropical cocktails on some sunny beach!
So now I’ve taken to pre-empt new friends by making it clear that the fastest way to get on the wrong side of me in the early stages of friendship was to poke that very sore spot.
I confess, I always thought it was “DAY-oh,” but I never dreamed of singing about daylight coming and my wanting to go home. I can sympathize– I’ve heard enough of the “Annie” theme song to last me three lifetimes.
Oh, but I love the Annie theme song – yet can see how it would annoy you. So many times people ask if my name is really Jane….nope my parents called me Janey (Jay Nee)..too easy. My problem was my maiden name “Smith” funnily enough that for such a common surname people didnt believe it was mine, this applied particularly to policemen late at night. Now i have a hyphenated surname “Kyle-Scott” again too easy. My question is – why do people think my name is Kylie?
Loomis – like the armored car. Not Lomas, not Lumas, not Lewis.
And yes, even David. (Davis? really?)
But my wife had it worse. Brianne – that’s BREE-in, not Brian, nor, Brianna, or Bri-ANNE.
So we figured that someone will get ANYone’s name wrong, and not to even worry about it.
Hence Aine. A I N E. Ahn-ya. It’s Gaelic. : )
Awesome. Way to stick to the mispronouncers.
Great idea for audio assist. I know two other Tamara’s who pronounce it the other way. I like it much better your way… now if you could just do that echo thing on your voice every time you say it, people would remember it better.
I have a friend is Tamala and no one ever gets her name right. No one ever spells my last name right. It’s Baley and sounds like Bailey so even when I spell it for them, people write the wrong thing. They can never find my medical files… I was standing in the DMV one time with them saying I didn’t exist even though I was right in front of them with my previous license. My music student’s parents know my name is spelled weird but they can’t remember how, so each month I get the weirdest combo of spellings ever.
Wow, way to go, DMV. *roll eyes*
My name is Renée, and I have hated it my entire life. When I was about 10 years old, I actually refused to answer to Renée. I made my parents call me Jamp for 2 weeks. No lie. To this day, people that I just meet most often remember me as Rebecca or Rachel. Now, as you can see, I just try to bury my first name under a lot of other names.
Honestly, almost no one calls me by first name, so I have a million nicknames: Ren, Renna, Renzie, Razz, Razz J, Nay, Nay-Nay. One friend even calls me Sha-Nay-Nay, which adds a bit of an ethnic mash-up to this Jewess.
So you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, but please… don’t call me Renée. So nasal.
I never think of you as Renee. You’ll always be RAS-J to me.
I love you so much right now. You so get me.
I would have never thought it was pronounced like that! Almost like my grandmother’s lazy way of saying tomorrow. With a name like Nichole, its easy to say it right, but people almost never spell it right. Now that I’m married, I gained the last name Tracht, which people mess up more often than not. The most popular ones I get are:
Trout
Tratchet (like ratchet)
Tract (like those you might hand out)
But its pronounced TROCT…like Octopus. So I feel ya! How the hell people get Trout is beyond me….
Yes, it’s pronounced exactly the way some Southerners say “tomorrow.” I had a home ec teacher with a big drawl once say, “We’ll be cookin’ tamara.” The seventh grade boys thought it was hilarious; I was unmoved.
Oh boo hoo! I am jealous of you and your cool eccentric name! My name, Matthew Shedd. First name is boring and regular, my last name is synonymous with barn. It sucks.
On a side note, I had a coach in high school who couldn’t pronounce “d” correctly–he made a “t” sound. He used to yell a lot, and I would always get this one: “Shit Shet! Get your head in the game.” Can you guess what my nickname was in high school?
Thanks, it fits me now. Sorry your coach was such a shithead.
My parents named me Andrea, but then my mom could not remember how she wanted it pronounced (short A sound? long A sound? Short e? long e? Which syllable receives the emphasis, etc.) So after 3 weeeks she went back and changed it on the birth certificate to Melissa (shortened immediately to Missy). I actually like the name Andrea better, but oh well. I guess she probably saved me a lifetime of people misprouncing my first name (the last name is almost never pronounced correctly b/c it’s Lowrance and everyone wants to say Lawrence).
I love that she couldn’t remember. Not “couldn’t decide,” but “couldn’t remember.” Your mom is adorable.
Yess, that’s cute & cuter, “couldn’t remember”. I thinnk its a good thing she shucked it…sehe saw the future for her. Well apparently i am so not alone in the name thing. Here’s my story. I am Leisa Nan Weems. My given name is Nan. Two problems for people, make that 10…its not Nancy, which their brain has pre-programmed. So, they call me Ann instead. and then, its my middle name. Many control freaks, I mean people, have determined that using my middle name is not allowable. And not the truth. I know this because, to-my-face, they tell me I am making it up, or that I have changed it and why? they ask? Don’t I like the name Leisa? (pronounced Lisa) Okay , so Nancy are you…”Its Nan”… Nan? did you shorten it? Oh you think Nan sounds chic, right ? “Nooooo my name is Nan” .This one kills me….Oh, how do you spell it? *0* “Really? How would you spell Nancy!!?” Nann? *0* They are not insulted by my sarcasm and go right into yet another question. Now you noticed the correct German way of spelling my name…Leisa. Lisa is also a German name, pronounced like the i in”it” When they came to America they were told by our illustrious scholars back then to drop the double vowels. So my Leisa has morphed into insane guesses. And my entire life, Weems has been mispronounced as Williams! I was a Teller at a bank & had a customer with the name Ann Williams…I laughed & introduced myself. She was amazed we had the same name! I rest my case. I married & took the last name of Collard. Norweigian roots. Simple name but uncommon, sooo people tore it up! Yrs later, I move south to Georgia. I’m thinking “Cool, Collard Greens, FINALLY people will get my name right!” Wrong! Collard as a person’s name had not been heard of, so no matter that I said “like the greens” they couldn’t get it. I would spell it, then they would say “Ohhhh col-LARD, like the GREASE! My best friend’s name was Tamera. I was her only friend that pronounced all three syllables. She loved me for that. She & her mom had the same aversion to Tammy, lol. Not allowed. Same with Nancy, not allowed. Because soon everyone would call me that and get this…IT’S NOT MY NAME. Tamara, are you like me? Good at pronouncing & spelling people’s names correctly that other’s mess up? Great Post, thanks and Congrats! BTW…people,we can change our names, it’s okay.
Okay – first of all, let me say that I just started reading your blog and I effing love you. I absolutely positively love your writing.
Now, on to the matter at hand. So, my first name – not such a biggie. Tiffany. Other than the “Tiffany bo biffany banana fana fo fiffany fee fi fo fiffany” I didn’t really get much there…however, that is probably because my last name was Kostelyk. So, God spared me.
No one ever knew how to pronounce this fabulous last name. However, that was not my grief. My problem was that, these beautiful unpronounceable letters come together to make “cost a lick”…yep. That is how it is pronounced. Cost-a-lick. So, always being painfully shy I always had to YELL to the always deaf teacher that it was pronounced “COST A LICK” and they would then say it out loud about 300 times just because they could not believe that was correct.
The boys in the back of the class were always CRACKING up and I was always some horrific shade of scarlet.
Now, I have a new last name. It is Lucus. But with two “u”‘s…no “a” to be found. And, really, try telling anyone that. No one ever is able to e-mail me on the first try. Ever. They refuse to listen to the “it is Lucus – L-U-C-U-S with TWO U’s” – but no longer do I have anyone asking me “how much does it cost a lick?” and that gives me the patience to endure the following conversation:
“I can’t get the e-mail to go through”
“Did you spell my name right”
“YES! IT IS LUCAS, RIGHT? L-U-C-A-S?”
“Mmmmm *deep breath* nope. L-U-C-U-S”
“YES! L-U-C-A-S”
*Serenity Prayer*
“No…..”
You get the point…
“Cost a lick.” Awful and fantastic, all at once.
And thanks so much– glad you like it here.
I went to school with a kid named Tamara, and everybody said “TAM-A-RAH.” So sorry…
Well then I think it’s high time we changed it up.
You are awesome! There are no words for how much I love your name tutorial. I confess I have been silently pronouncing your name incorrectly, for which I apologize. Because of my own name woes, I always try to pronounce and spell other people’s names properly but the Internets can make that tough since we’re just reading a name and left to our own pronunciation devices.
In any case, yes, I feel your pain. My name has been pronounced as:
Lay (he he)
Lee-ih
Leah
Leg
Legit (compliments of a telemarketer- I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry over their ineptitude)
It’s almost always misspelled. If someone guesses how to spell it the right way without any prompting on my part, I instantly fall in love with them. This has been true of new friends and Starbucks baristas.
I envy people that have normal names but when it comes down to it, Leigh is perfect for me. Given that my name is good adverb fodder, it didn’t take long to come up with the perfect blog name.
It’s pronounced “Lee,” right? I think yours is a lovely spelling.
Yes, you’re right! I do like the spelling. Just wish I wasn’t so impressed when people say or spell it the right way without any prompting! Last night I gave my name for a food order and the girl guessed the proper spelling and then commiserated about her own name (Larissa). We may be a nation of people with name issues.
Oh yeah, Melinda is always confused with Melanie, Melissa, Linda, ugh. I tell them to just call me MEL so they don’t have to remember the end of it. I changed my name to Mindy in 7th grade. I loathed Mel and Melinda. I got over it and now, no one calls me Melinda. I’ve been with my husband 17 1/2 years and when he calls me Melinda, it sounds weird. My mom named my bro Micah. He was NOT to be called Mike or Mikey. So he never was
So “Mel” it is. Or maybe “Mindy.” I don’t know, I’m confused.
OK, full disclosure – I used to love the Starship song as a kid (though I don’t recall belting it from a swing or anything). But then I learned, with great horror, that it is spelled wrong: Sara. NO! That said, I still have it on my 80s mix CD and I only sometimes skip it when it comes on (right before “Sara Smile”, also spelled incorrectly).
By the way, let me just take one for the team of Saras and Sarahs in the world by telling you that saying you had friends named “Sara[h]” is the equivalent, of saying you had friends named “Ann[abella]” — they are two different names
But don’t worry, I still love you, and I will always pronounce your name correctly.
You are so full of it! But I’ll let it go, as I’m partial to Sarah-with-an-H, and Sarah H. in particular. Love ya.
Ack! A stray comma from an incomplete edit of my sentence. Hope you didn’t think I meant that.
My last name is most fun when it’s mispronounced.
If you know what I mean.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. Ahem.
I forgot one! Belinda! And as luck would have it, I have sinus issues so I think my name comes out as Belinda a lot of times when I say it. So sad, I can’t say my own name :’( lol
well, i was pronouncing it right in my head:) and i think that creepy girl-ghoul from the ring was samara, so maybe you dodged a bullet.
people always want to shorten my name. “suzannah is so loooonnng! can’t i call you something else? suzy? sue?” and i think, NO. how ’bout you just don’t call me at all.
I’m so happy you had it right all along! WTG, Suzannah-not-Sue!
Well, there is the obvious…”is your sister’s name Melody?” (No.) “I bet you sing harmonies.” (No.) “Were your parents hippies?” (No.)
But I’ve recently become the most annoyed by people not knowing how to spell my name. “Harmony? How is that spelled? H A R M O N I E ?” Seriously? It is a word. You probably had it as a vocabulary word in the 2nd grade or so. Yeesh.
Also, I am against name shortening in general. I tend to call people by their “real” name. e.g. Chistopher, Jennifer, etc. And we chose our girls’ names because it would be hard to nickname them. I get that from my mom too. My brother (Jeremiah) resisted Jeremy his whole like due to her training.
I have a friend named Harmony she named her son Justice. I always thought it was a cool name.
Honestly, I was kinda disappointed when I met your mom and she was totally not a hippie.
TAMARA! My full first name is Camicia – online I go by Cam because it’s easier for people to pronounce when they first meet me, and then I can say “You can actually call me Camicia” (Which is actually pronounced like Alisha only with a CAM instead of an AL)
I was made fun of perpetually. It was even worse when they heard my last name (DeLong – apparently according to 12 year old boys it rhymes with ‘Schlong’ – WHO KNEW!?)
I remember the first time a teacher pronounced my name correctly. I was BAFFLED. I said “here!” and asked how she knew how to pronounce my name. She told me my reputation preceded me as she gave me the stink eye.
I love having a unique name. With all the Jessicas, Jennifers and Sarahs it’s nice to be different. It’s also a great excuse to say “Say my name!” when someone who swears they won’t forget it upon introduction inevitably forgets it and stands in front of me snapping their fingers saying “I know it!!!”
I think I’m going to start demanding people say my name when they meet me, too. How very dominatrix.
Cam(icia), I’m so happy that I’ve been pronouncing your name right in my head!
Tony is easy. Alicea…not so much. I grew up for the majority of my life having people call me Alicia. Mostly because I didn’t have the courage to correct them.
Now, homie don’t play dat! My sister came up with a cool way to remember it. She says, “What does the dentist say to Muhammad Ali ? Ali say ahh”
People usually remember it after that. Whatever works, right?
Oh, and you’re lucky you didn’t marry me.
Your last name has always made sense to me, but then I had the benefit(?) of growing up with Spanglish.
i am 90% positive that voice just got me pregnant.
i feel you. not literally, but phonetically, no one has ever spelt my name correctly in a newspaper as of ever. dang philanthropists.
i need to look that last word up because i know what it means and that’s not right.
Goshdarn that echo effect. That’s what happens when you do it over and over and over.
No one can mess up Ron. It’s just boring.
I’d go with “safe.”
I never understood how you’ve had so much trouble with people mis-pronouncing your name. Maybe it’s because I’ve known a couple of Tamaras in my time, maybe it’s because of my Australian way of pronouncing ‘a’ as ‘ah’ anyway.
I’ll always be proud of my high school senior year, when I was part of a school program to have the seniors help the juniors feel more comfortable at high school. One of the girls’ surnames was Someardi; she and all her friends had never had anyone pronounce it correctly the first time. I gained a lot of respect that day I think.
As for my name, Christian – strangely enough, people still get it wrong. I’ve even been called Christina on more occasions than I’m comfortable with. I also request that people use my full name; only two people I’ve ever known have gotten away with calling me “Chris”.
My husband really does not want me to ask you to say my name in your lovely accent.
I am really proud of myself. The way your husband said it on the recording is exactly how I was saying it in my head.
I just gave myself a high-five.
I’m so thrilled you had it right that I hate to have to correct you on this point: The recording is my friend Carter, not my husband.
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How simple can a name like Marlene be? But I have had people call me Marilyn (!) for decades.
I am not a blogger. As a friend (cousin) of Renee of Lessons from Teachers and Twits, I often stop by and read her blog and others.
Happy successful writing!
As a Soderstrom, my name is rarely pronounced correctly. My favorite mispronounciation: Superstorm.
At least your mispronunciation is something cool! I often get mine pronounced “LaBriola” even when they read it as correctly spelt “Labriola”. And others hear me and choose to write LaBriola anyway or will actually change what’s written because they think that it was spelt wrong! I’m not French.
Superb!
Hmmmm I never knew you could say you name any other way than they way you say it.
My first name is easy to pronouce but it is really common and rhymes with smelly, belly, jelly etc so Kellie smelly who has a big belly was a favourite at school, and my sister still occasionally calls me smelly butt which is what my siblings decided when we were young.
My last name Sherwen was easy until like Miss Bast above I started supply teaching now I often get Mrs Shoe, even when I write my name on the board as Miss Sherwen every time I go into a class and introduce myself. I can sort of understand the Miss/Mrs but Shoe? how do you get that from Sherwen??
However in saying that my least favourite part of the day is first thing in the morning trying to pronounce all the weird and wonderful names on the register, I like the children who when I pause while trying to work out how to pronounce their name call it out, then put up with me trying to say it correctly with my weird New Zealand accent confusing their English ears.
Your name seems straightforward to me. Maybe we’d get on.
But if you were in Belfast you might get irritated for a different reason. Lots of locals pronounce “tomorrow” just like your name. So they’d get your name right – it’s just that you’d be hearing your name called out everywhere you went.
You know what? I’d be okay with that. I have a little thing for accents.
http://tamaraoutloud.com/2011/04/18/reasons-for-being-english-even-though-im-not/
YES! My last name anyway, which is Casas. You’d think it would be easy, because it’s just the word for houses in Spanish, which is a relatively easy language for English speakers. Inevitably, they say Cus-AHHHS or CASS-as, or just look at me and say, “How do you pronounce this?” lol No matter what, I always have to spell it for them after I’ve said it, because they look at me and say, “What??” Congratulations on making the home page!
Yeah. I can relate…
So much so that in my “About” section, I spend time revealing how my name is actually pronounced (like Michelob, just not as fun…and with a long “e” sound on the end).
A name is the most personal of things…amazing how much it matters!
I share your pain. Although I think you have it pretty easy. Try having an East Indian name. I don’t think anyone has ever gotten it right on the first try. I have just given up. If they pronounce the first letter then I just let it go. -_-
My name is Gloris. “no, that’s not a typo, that’s my name” is my sign-off sometimes. It’s pronounced like Doris with a Gl instead of D. Or, I tell people, it sounds like Cloris Leachman.
I wrote a post about name frustration, too, if you have the time to read it after keeping up with all your comments! Congratulations being freshly pressed!
http://gloriadelia.wordpress.com/2010/03/05/thats-not-a-typo-thats-my-name/
Alyssa. Uh-li-suh. Not Aleesa, not Alisha, not Alicia, not Elisa, Uh-li-suh. I got so fed up in certain circles I switched to my middle name, Rae. You may not know how it’s spelled, but everyone can pronounce it.
My married name was Utt. It is truly astonishing what people managed to do with only three letters. And congrats on being FP!