I love words; I really do. The right words in the right hands can give expression to the part of man that mirrors God. But some words are just incurably, gratuitously dumb.
Redundant Words That Say The Same Thing All Over Again
Case in point: Utilize. There is absolutely no need for this word. For 500 years the word use handled things in one succinct syllable. The adaptation of a French word (utiliser, which means– gasp!– “to use”) and consequent additional two syllables did nothing to improve the English language. It merely gave its speakers an opportunity to become more long-winded and play at being fancy.
Words That Mean One Thing And Also Its Opposite
Case in point: Peruse. There is no word quite so useless as one that means a given thing as well as its opposite. If peruse can mean “to examine attentively” in one breath and “to examine cursorily” in another, then two breaths are wasted. All we know is that something has, in some indeterminate manner, been examined to some unknown degree.
Letters Crammed Together Masquerading As Words
Case in point: Irregardless. Contrary to alarmingly popular belief, this is not a word and, with its extraneous prefix, never rightly should be. Yet history proves that if enough voices repeat the same jumble of sounds enough times, a new word will be born. Humongous appeared in the late 1960s, and even just 20 years ago it was frowned upon as nonstandard; Today it enjoys full inclusion in the language. If irregardless makes similar headway, we should all be a little frightened.
Words That Just Make Everyone Uncomfortable
Case in point: Crotchety. Although it does have a long-forgotten etymological relation to crotch, this word is now meant to connote an irascible state of being. But let’s be honest: No one hears “crotchety” without predominantly and uncomfortably hearing “crotch.” Gross.
Words That Don’t Mean What You Want Them To
Case in point: Inflammable. Although derived logically from the Latin inflamare (“to inflame”), this word’s prefix is sometimes quite perilously mistaken as a negative. Inflammable was obviated by the introduction of the perfectly clear flammable. To still find it in use at all is to find the children of unknowing parents in jammies that might well burst into flames.
What words bother you? Would you make a case in favor of any of the words on my list? And most importantly, what can we do to prevent the disastrous, widespread acceptance of irregardless?
What people WANT to say when they say “irregardless” is “irrespective” a perfectly servicable word. So let’s correct everyone when they say “irregardless.” “Oh, you mean ‘irrespective’, right?”
One that bothers alot of people is “I could care less.” Oh, you could? Then help me out here! : )
“I could care less” drives me bonkers. It takes all my restraint not to respond to it with a great deal of snark.
My California teen students would then just say whatEVERRRRR.
how about simply using the correct, “regardless?”
Every time I see the word inflammable it reminds me of Dr. Nick on The Simpsons. I think it was their Pulp Fiction-style episode, but there’s a place where he blows up something and says, “Who knew inflammable meant flammable?!?” (But in his awesome Dr. Nick voice. Hi everybody!)
And irregardless is my least favorite word. I think the best way to stop the spread of it to mock its utilizers mercilessly.
I hate ‘irregardless’ and ‘inflammable’ single word double negatives make me want to beg the literary powers that be to smite language abusers.
However, I like ‘crotchety’, it makes me think of a skinny, bow-legged, old curmudgeon shaking his cane and young people. I find there are far more words that I adore than words that I dislike.
“I could care less” also bothers me immensely! Another example of a word that has two meanings that are the opposite is cleave. I have no real problem with this word except that it’s weird to have a word with definitions that mean the opposite.
Alise totally stole my answer (even though I’ve never seen an episode of The Simpson’s in my life). I wholeheartedly agree about irregardless. And “I could care less” makes me stabby. I will admit, though, that using “peruse” makes me feel all fancy. I might have to keep that one.
But what are you doing when you’re perusing, Liza? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I just hope you give us some context. Otherwise, there’s really just no way to know.
i hate the word moist. a lot.
That’s pretty gross. Good one.
I second that emotion. I also hate the word panties.
Yes! Can we all just agree that unless we’re four-year-old girls, we don’t wear panties? Wait, uh…
this is so true. panties is a painful word to say and try to sound like an adult at the same time
and when you combine the two words, well, only an OBGYN would be comfortable.
I’ve actually heard boys’ underpants referred to as panties. That makes my skin crawl.
If you revisit the topic of words that make people uncomfortable, you should examine the word “niggardly.” That’s always good for an awkward silence or two.
Um, yeah. That.
How about the “word” “unthaw” Which technically means to freeze?
I also agree with Missy about “I could care less”, that drives me crazy.
Yes, and “dethaw” rather than “defrost.” Dumb.
I had no idea that “peruse” meant “examine attentively”, I’ve always used it in the context of “cursory examination”, thinking that was its only definition. I learned something new today
My pet peeve these days is “ginormous”– I fear it may wind up as commonplace as “humongous”. That, however, doesn’t irk me nearly as much as “irregardless”.
Little wonder English is so difficult to learn as a foreign language!
“Snark” is the neologism most over-used these days. “Sarcasm” is pining away for lack of interest, and “bitchery” just sets off unpleasant sexist associations.
I actually like “I could care less,” IF (and only “if”) it is followed with . . . “but not very much.” That has an elegant spin. Overscanning this quickly, with a critical eye, is a “perusal.”
THAT’s what one DOES when perusing. “Peruse” vs. “read over quickly, with a critical eye.” “It’s about the economy” (of words).
I could care less, but only with a great deal of effort, and I’ve exhausted myself addressing this petty carping at such length.
I’ve never heard of “bitchery” but I like it already.
i appreciate the word bitchery. asshattery, too.
i go insane when people mispronounce photography as FRAtography. i hear it all the time, even on tv, and i want to throw things.
hahahahahah! excellent example of bitchery, Reed.
People who use the (non) word irregardless ought to be (at least verbally) bitch slapped. There is another offense that I hear far more often, and from my children, of all people. They tell me that they did it, “on accident”. I then have to ask them if they are sure they didn’t do it “by purpose”. This drives me to drink. (which, admittedly, is a short put) But still, is there no end to the language mangling we have to endure?
Part of the beauty of language is redundant words. Having options helps regulate the meter of writing. Sometimes you need extra syllables to balance sentences out. Short, clipped sentences only work if they have longer companions to help them stand out. It’s crucial to be able to do that with syntax as well as content.
Having words with multiple meanings is important too. It gives power to the context of writing alongside the syntax. Peruse is a great word precisely because it can have different shades of meaning.
Language, especially written language, is an art with many implements. To be sure, it can be abused. But take away the tools, and you also lose the ability to make it beautiful.
Eats, Shoots and Leaves, by Lynne Truss, is a great (and hilarious) book about punctuation, grammar, syntax, and context. She spends some time talking about language as art.
Sorry to pipe in suddenly. Part of my world is copy editing and authoring, and I wanted to respond!
@Sharideth Smith: Were you referencing Dead Like Me?
Personally, I like “peruse”, but I hate “irregardless” so much that I made my husband stop saying it. And I love “crotchety”, but…maybe I like making people uncomfortable?
i can’t claim full referencage. (i know that’s not a word, seemed appropriate) although i did think about DLM, i can only say that i hated that word long before i obsessively watched every episode of DLM over an 8 day period.
Putt has two T’s, doesn’t it?
Well, I never was much of a speller. Hell, I’m not even a golfer.
By the way, just so you know, ‘spellcheck’ thinks ‘put’ is a word.
cleave – one word with opposite meanings.
And I agree with Carter that niggardly is almost unusable because it just sounds wrong thought it’s a very useful word!
Now here is my most hated words right now. Ideate and Ideation. God I hate corporate buzzwords! We can’t come up with ideas or brainstorm we have to ideate or have an ideation meeting. Makes me want to puke!
That’s exactly what I feel “utilize” is– a corporate buzzword lacking any rationale in standard English.
John Shore shared your blog post and I got a kick out out it. I must admit I struggle with words all the time. Spanish is my mother tongue and I learned English by immersion when my family moved from Colombia to the U.S. in 1960. I was 10 years old and in those days, E.S.L. classes were none-existent. As a graphic designer, and one who thinks visually and prefers to communicate visually, I am sometimes forced to provide a written creative rationale for a project and I have a blast doing it, when I can pull it off. How to take something as subjective as an idea and explain it to a bunch of left-brained accountants so they get it, that’s on par with climbing Mt. Everest and equally exhausting. Ah, but to find the words that make it happen, that is a thrill.
I’m with you– there are few things I enjoy more than putting together just the right words. And thanks for listening to John’s recommendation– I’m a fan of his and am thrilled that he took a moment to help me out.
How about people who say they need to get themselves “orientated”?? That just sounds so wrong to me! Shouldn’t it be oriented? or acclimated? or getting familiar with. or adjusted to…?
Yes, I agree– anything but “orientated.”
That reminds me of MY most hated “miswording”: preventative. How do you preventate something?
Hey I am crotchety… dag nabbit! You kids get off of my words.
It’s not that I don’t care, I could just care less. I love this phrase because of its ambiguity!
I hate “bi–monthly” because I never have a clue whether it refers to “twice a month” or “every other month.” Oh, and “pus”… because, really? That word is just disgusting.
Great post! I’m a word nerd, too. Something that drives me crazy is when people say “and I” when it’s the predicate because it’s been ingrained in them to say “I” instead of “me”.
What bothers me the most is actually me. I know it’s grammatically correct to use “whom” but I feel like I sound pretentious, so I usually just say “who” and cringe inside. I need to be bold! Put a brave face on and endure the mocking! But I don’t. Sigh….
I do the same thing for the same reason with “whom”/”who” sometimes, but never here. I figure it’s my blog, and I’ll use “whom” as an object whenever I well please.
Reiterate. That one drives me nuts. Iterate means to repeat continuously, so adding Re- to it is just redundant. Also, I’d never really heard “I could care less,” but “I couldn’t care less.” Which is perfectly logical. Nother is also irritating, as in: “A whole nother”. People falsely split Another into “A nother” instead of “an other”.
For more anger on this topic, check out Hyperbole and a Half’s blog about Alot.
Also, UG, “put” is a word, as in: “To put something away.”
I can’t believe that my favorite language book has yet to be mentioned in this thread! “The Mother Tongue: English, and it got that way” by Bill Bryson.
READ IT!!!
All these comments, and no mention of my most-hated phrase: “Just sayin’?”
What’s up with that?
While we’re on the subject, what about obviate? It sounds something like what happens monthly to a woman of childbearing years. What’s wrong with good old “bypass?” I mean has anyone heard of a triple obviation?
What about “entitled” instead of titled? The new book is not “entitled” Bob Don’t Know Grammar!
Maybe the book just feels really self-righteous.
“Orientated” is the word that makes me bristle a little nowadays. I thought it was improper blending of words like “irregardless” but I think it is actually a proper word. I share the dislike of irregardless. I read this post earlier today, was all set to comment and then the phone rang and my day just took off with business (and episodes of Pushing Daises on NetFlix), and wouldn’t you just know that one of the people I spoke to on the phone actually used irregardless! I didn’t have the heart to correct her, though.
I’m not even going to mention the “m” word that is only acceptable in describing cake or brownies.
I don’t mind ‘panties’ as long as that word is preceded by granny, because I rock my ‘granny panties,’ and I couldn’t care less what you think of that, whomever you are.
I like ‘just sayin’ because I feel it gives me street cred. Word.
“Persnickety.” Really, was there ever a need for this word? Ever?
Someone in the hospital where I work insists on using the word “visitation” where “visiting” belongs (as in “visitation policy” when it’s a “visiting policy.”) Please oh please don’t misuse a word belonging to land of funerals and viewings in a children’s hospital. Please.
One word comes to mind, “Like”. I hear this word being used in every day conversation as “filler”. It has become the new “um” or “ah” when real words can’t be found to carry on a real conversation.
Another area where the word “like” seems out of place occurs when it is used as part of the rating system to rank web content, especially when the “thumbs up” or “like” button appears next to news stories or articles that feature tragic headlines – “Fatal car crash, two men die” Like / Dislike. What’s that supposed to mean?
Lastly, many people rely on spell check features in their software to proof their spelling. You may have noticed that “irregardless” is a recognized word by many spell check programs (including the one used by this comment editor).
Just thought of a few other words that are used interchangeably and probably shouldn’t be: Affect Effect and Ensure Assure Insure.
I think the word I hate the most is seen. I have no problem when it is used properly, but whenever I hear someone say they seen something I just want to stick daggers in my ears. You didn’t seen it, you have seen it. If you can’t use seen properly then just don’t use it. You can get along just fine in this life using only saw and see.
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One point in favor of keeping “utilize” around: I think it has evolved particular connotations that set it apart from “use” and can be more descriptive in certain situations. For example, I might say “she utilized the wind to power her grain mill” instead of “she used the wind.” Similarly, I probably would say “he used drugs” instead of “he utilized drugs.”
To wit: I would utilize “utilize” to imply that the utilizer was acting wisely in taking advantage of the thing utilized (see what I did there).
Fun post! Must say I disagree with you on one point: crotchety.
I LOVE that word. It’s hilarious and perfectly descriptive. Although the word “crotch” is uncomfortable and ugly on its own, with an “ity” attached it’s a whole other ball of wax, much as it is when my husband attaches his own homemade suffix “ological” – as in “the crotchological region” – which he does whenever need arises just to see me crumble into giggles.
Hearing people say flustrate is really flustrating. And I used the word crotchety this weekend and felt a little dirty.
It irritates me when people say, “expecially”.
Good point. Two other words that fall into this category are: asteriks instead of asterisk, aks instead of ask.
Ok. You’re really smart. Like a really lot. I think you’ve done a nice job of expressing words that are stupid. You’re like the Black Swan of literary perusal.
Late to the game, but I don’t think anyone grabbed the one that annoyed me just yesterday: I ordered a plate of food at a Greek restaurant that was supposed to contain “pitted olives”. The olives had pits. I was not impressed. Just don’t put it on the menu if you don’t know that a pitted olive is an olive that has been pitted! I wonder if you could sue them if you chipped a tooth…
I think I like the litigious side of you.
Ya’ll are just getting waaay toooo picky. Because I work with, like, street teens, on a daily basis, I already know how our language is gonna look in 20 yearzzz, cuz nobody under 20 knows how to write in anything but textspeak. But we’re scraight. Just sayin. And what is the point of shortening words and then adding extra letters to the end?
(Be afraid. Be very afraid)
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I’m not really sure why it took me so long to find this post! I don’t necessarily feel the same ire towards your choices, but I love that you care enough to write about it.
I don’t really like words like ‘orientate’ or worse, ‘conversate’, but I do understand the process that creates them. It’s called back-formation. Start with ‘conversation’ or ‘orientation’ and take off the nominative suffix -ion and you get ‘conversate’ or ‘orientate. It’s actually an active, generative rule of English, but of course the annoying part is that this rule is employed when it doesn’t need to be, because a perfectly good verb already exists.
And mo has a good point about redundancy in language. We like to give as many chances as possible for the listener (or reader) to understand our message.
I am definitely in the minority about ‘I could care less.’ It’s very very common here in the NY area because of the influence of Yiddish-speaking immigrants. I happen to have a soft spot for the bits of Yiddish that have leaked into English.
Re: Words That Just Make Everyone Uncomfortable
A friend just posed this question, “How do you describe a pus filled sore?”
I think now you have the answer.
I was just perusing your blog and I love the way you utilized your knowledge of the English language to both inform and entertain. Many people could care less about language and word choice. Nothing makes me more crotchety than people using humongous words that they don’t know the meaning of. I could just burst into flames…luckily, my clothes are inflammable. Irregardless, you sure hit my funny bones with this post!
I had to.
I kinda love you right now.
My husband wanted to know who I got to guest-post for me, so I introduced him to you via this post. His response: “‘Crotchety’ is my favorite word.” (After he quit laughing.)
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My wife is Italian and refuses to use the word “to dust.” She always says, “I’m not putting dust on the furniture, I’m taking it off. So I’m UNdusting.” She has a point.
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how about “i know, right?” honestly what the heck is that supposed to mean. i mean, i guess you know? are you asking me or telling me?
I know, right?
Hi there! I’m verrrrry late to this post, I know, but I only discovered your blog today. (I’m reading it in my office in South Africa, actually, which might explain why I’m only jumping on your very insightful and entertaining bandwagon now.) I’m glad I did, though, and will be returning often – you speak my mind!
Here’s my little contribution to this topic:
One of my absolute pettiest peeves is the pronunciation of etcetera as “ex-setera”. I gag whenever I hear “irregardless”, too. And when someone “could care less”, I literally (another interesting one) want to gag them with a dirty sock while sarcastically asking, “If you could, then why don’t you?”
I’m acutely nerdy in the word-department too, and find your thoughts on faith and love inspiring. I’m so thankful to be blessed with your message today!
Lots of love
“I could care less” is infuriating!
Welcome to TOL, Juanli!